Wednesday, January 30, 2008

i got plasma on my but-tocks! *

* sung to the tune of Helter Skelter's "I've got blisters on my fingers!"

I think this means something. In writing about plasma, it reads, “What is plasma? We're familiar with solids, liquids and gases, such as solid ice, liquid water and gaseous steam. But heat atoms more, and they 'split' into free ions and electrons: a plasma.” Sounds important. Splitting atoms, I was taught growing up as the teacher talked to us while we hid under our desks from imminent Russian attacks, was a bad thing.

This is a picture of plasma. Looks hot. I guess those atoms got themselves heated up big time. Looks like the sun, eh? Here’s another apparently important statement: “All plasmas react more strongly to electromagnetic forces than gravity. Hence 99.999% of the visible Universe reacts more strongly to electromagnetic forces. And all space plasmas produce magnetic fields.” OK. So I don’t have to worry about forgetting to pack my magnet if I ever go to space. I’ll just drive by some plasma and pick one up. That’s a good thing. One less thing to worry about.

This picture looks important, too. I’m not a mathematician, and I slept in my own bed last night so I don’t have any mental super powers from drinking Holiday Inn kool-aid, but I think this tells me that there is not a reliable relationship between density and temperature. It does seem, however, that the higher densities produce the higher temperatures. That’s good, I guess. It’s nice to learn that lightening would burn my sorry ass quicker than a fire. I’ll tuck that bit of knowledge away. I hope I never need to make the choice.

Plasma also seems to be unstable by all sorts of views. That doesn’t sound good. Did you know that plasma instabilities can be divided into two general groups (1) hydrodynamic instabilities (2) kinetic instabilities? Neither did I. I think that’s interesting. Not sure. They also use terms like “sausage instability” and “hose instability.” That concerns me. Plasma seems like it’s an important thing. I don’t care that they have to reduce its analysis to food products and garden implements to understand it. Makes me feel uncomfortable. Do those use those terms for the new guys? Is that an indictment of the educational system? “I’ll tell you what really happens after you’ve been here a few years. For right now, think of Jimmy Dean link sausage.” “Hey, ever water your yard? Yeah, same thing.” That makes me very uncomfortable.

There is also something called a ”plasmoid.” Think of it as a hemorrhoid. It’s in the tail of a comet, can be ball lightening, etc. Yeah, just like that thing sticking out your asshole. Here’s a picture. That thing on the left is your asshole. The plasmoid is off to the right, kinda dangling out there.

Class dismissed.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

cranky

Like origami? I don’t. Not enough focus. Makes me want to act out. Origami pisses me off. I used to make these printed CD envelopes when I gave music to my twin until I got so fucking angry one time trying to fold it that I took it outside and lit it on fire. I’m amazed the link is still in my favorites. Anyway, if you like origami, this is a well-done site.

Like clowns? You’re sick. You should be locked up. Clowns are scary. People that dress up as clowns should be lined up and shot. I wouldn’t even waste the time to put them in a line. Shoot them right on the tricycle you found them. Here’s your nightmare – you’re welcome – Evil Clown Generator. Do a screen shoot of the final and trim in PhotoShop.

You like to play the piano? I don’t. I got two hands but can only use one at a time. I would be ok if it were a one-handed instrument. What’s up with two scales on one instrument? Seems unfair. I’m into fairness. One scale per instrument. It’s like the vote-early-and-often bullshit the dems do. Anyway, here’s a good source for free sheet music.

Want to see the chronology of all sorts of different mathematics and related stuff? I don’t. In my world, I am content with D.C. (During Clyde), and have no problem with ignoring B.C. (Before Clyde) and A.C. (After Clyde). That is not my narcissistic side talking. Well, ok, it is. But so what? It’s confusing being me all the time! I mean, I certainly am not me all the time, but that’s just a reaction formation. Anyway, here’s a long list of chronologies to fill in the blanks in your knowledge such as, Chronology of Time Measurement Technology, 270BC, Ctesibius builds a popular water clock.

Like Stephen Hawking? Yeah, he’s ok, but he reminds me of that guy from My Left Foot. Scares me. I read Brief History and have an audio book of his autobiography. He’s got a personal website now. Ever hear of Black Holes? Yeah, that’s him. Makes me think of some movie where that Three’s Company guy was playing the devil and said, “You like trees? Those were my idea.”

How bored are you? Here’s a webcam where you can watch paint peel. No shit. Be sure watch it with a bottle of aspirin and an empty glass.

You comfortable? I’m not. This story tells about a sun hurling through space at 1.6 million miles an hour. It’s nine times the size of our sun. Says it happens a lot. That scares the shit out of me. A whole fucking sun screaming through space like some cosmic fastball. WHOOSH! “What the fuck was that?!?” I’m toast. I’ll probably never sleep again.

My colon is asking to void. I have to go.
\

politics simplified 2

I am loving watching the wheels turn round and round in the presidential primaries. The pubs have their hands full with McCain (read, “liberal”) and Romney (read, “only conservative with enough money to compete”). The press despises conservatives, so Romney gets ignored or scoffed at. McCain gets all this adoration. The truth of the matter is that pubs vote, not the press, so Romney is odds on to win the nomination.

The dem side is so very fun. Glance over the articles on lucianne dot com to see the disdain for the Clintons coming from within. Nobody ever liked them. They were and always will be trailer-park trash. They just had a meaner dog, so people were afraid of them. The headlines tell the true story. Senators and governors are lining up for Obama, and, more importantly, giving exhaustive reasons for their support. They dislike Hillary, they dislike Bubba, and do not want that crowd running against any pub for the title of POTUS.

It will not play well in post-Labor Day events if Hillary is the nominee. Mud fights, old war stories … the pubs can play just as dirty as the Clintons. Bubba is licking his wounds and Hillary’s feet big time. The truth is simple: they won previously through raw power. Everyone knew the filthy game, but the dems sat quietly because it was their guy. No more. If Hillary gets the nod because of the carry-over of past structural power, the dem base will not be enthused. Romney (or McCain) will reach out and another Reagan-Democrat voting black will emerge.

The best of this is that Hillary is the victim of her own arrogance. She manipulated this Super Tuesday so early in the process. She assumed that it would give plenty of time to pummel the pubs. She did not figure in that her own party would turn on her, and see the lead up to Super Tuesday as crucial to victory in November. So the party is pulling out all stops to stop her. It is to laugh.

True story. Came from a Secret Service agent at the White House. Hillary and Bubba arrive on their first day. Hillary gets out of the limousine with satchel in hand. Goes to hand it to the agent standing there. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I need to keep my hands free at all times.” Hillary says, “then what the fuck good are you,” tosses the bag at his feet, and walks into the White House.

Trailer-park trash finally smelling their own stench.

Monday, January 28, 2008

dumpster deli

Man, this has got to stop! I am searching food all over the net and everything looks so frickin good. Part of the problem is that I have no money until the end of the week, so I go into this survival mode thing. Kinda humorous, but it is actively wearing thin. Anyway, I liked this Jamie Oliver’s show when I watched TV. It seemed like he would go dumpster diving and transform it into gourmet meals. I could be totally wrong. It may not have had anything to do with dumpsters.

This recipe caught my eye for the ingredients. I love freshly cooked peppers on pasta.

Pasta Peperonata

• 2 red peppers, deseeded and sliced
• 2 yellow peppers, deseeded and sliced
• extra virgin olive oil
• sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 red onions, peeled and finely sliced
• 2 garlic cloves, peeled and grated
• 2 handfuls of fresh flat-leaf parsley, leaves finely chopped, stalks reserved
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar or balsamic vinegar
• 2 handfuls of grated Parmesan cheese
• optional: 2 heaped tablespoons mascarpone cheese or crème Fraîche
• 455g/1lb rigatoni, penne or spaghetti

This is a great pasta dish using rigatoni, which is quite robust. It makes a really nice lunchtime snack. The mascarpone or crème fraîche is a lovely addition, but you can leave it out if you prefer. It will give you a wonderful mottled sauce, but try it without first and see how you go.

Put all the peppers in a large frying pan over a medium heat with a little olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper. Place a lid on, and cook slowly for 15 minutes until softened. Don't rush this too much, as cooking the peppers slowly like this really helps to bring out the flavour. Add the onion and cook for a further 20 minutes. Then add the garlic and parsley stalks and toss around, keeping everything moving in the pan. Cook for about 3 minutes most. Have a little taste, and season with a bit more salt and pepper. Add the vinegar - it will sizzle away, so give everything a good toss. Then add one handful of the grated Parmesan and the mascarpone or crème fraîche if you are using it and turn the heat down to minimum while you cook the pasta.

Meanwhile put a large pot of salted water on to boil. Add the pasta to the boiling water and cook according to the packet instructions. When cooked, drain in a colander, reserving some of the cooking water. Put the peppers, pasta and parsley leaves into a large warmed bowl. Give them a good toss together, then add a little of the pasta cooking water and a few good lugs of extra virgin olive oil to coat the pasta nicely. Serve straight away sprinkled with the rest of the Parmesan.

Serves 4.

Lots more good recipes on his site. God, I’m hungry!

girl scouts taste good

I must be on a recipe kick for some reason. Feeling hungry lately, I guess. Weight is at 143. Makes me feel pretty!

If there is such a thing as the single best cookie in all the world, is it the Girl Scouts’ Caramel de-Lites, and I just got a recipe.

To wit:

Cookies

1 cup butter, soft
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
up to 2 tbsp milk

Preheat oven to 350F. In a large mixing bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Mix in flour, baking powder and salt at a low speed, followed by the vanilla and milk, adding in the milk as needed to make the dough come together without being sticky (it’s possible you might not need to add milk at all). The dough should come together into a soft, not-too-sticky ball. Add in a bit of extra flour if your dough is very sticky.

Roll the dough (working in two or three batches) out between pieces of wax paper to about 1/4-inch thickness (or slightly less) and use a 1 1/2-inch cookie cutter to make rounds. Place on a parchment lined baking sheet and use a knife, or the end of a wide straw, to cut a smaller center hole. Repeat with remaining dough. Alternatively, use scant tablespoons of dough and press into an even layer in a mini donut pan to form the rounds.

Bake cookies for 10-12 minutes, until bottoms are lightly browned and cookies are set. If using a mini donut pan, bake for only about 10 minutes, until edges are light gold.

Cool for a few minutes on the baking sheet then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Topping

3 cups shredded coconut (sweetened or unsweetened)
12-oz good-quality chewy caramels
1/4 tsp salt
3 tbsp milk
8 oz. dark or semisweet chocolate (chocolate chips are ok)

Preheat oven to 300. Spread coconut evenly on a parchment-lined baking sheet (preferably one with sides) and toast 20 minutes, stirring every 5 minutes, until coconut is golden. Cool on baking sheet, stirring occasionally. Set aside.

Unwrap the caramels and place in a large microwave-safe bowl with milk and salt. Cook on high for 3-4 minutes, stopping to stir a few times to help the caramel melt. When smooth, fold in toasted coconut with a spatula.

Using the spatula or a small offset spatula, spread topping on cooled cookies, using about 2-3 tsp per cookie. Reheat caramel for a few seconds in the microwave if it gets too firm to work with.
While topping sets up, melt chocolate in a small bowl. Heat on high in the microwave in 45 second intervals, stirring thoroughly to prevent scorching. Dip the base of each cookie into the chocolate and place on a clean piece of parchment paper. Transfer all remaining chocolate (or melt a bit of additional chocolate, if necessary) into a piping bag or a ziplock bag with the corner snipped off and drizzle finished cookies with chocolate.

Let chocolate set completely before storing in an airtight container.
Makes about 3-½ to 4 dozen cookies.

My advice? Quadruple the recipe leave harassing messages on your doc’s voicemail.

Some other Girl Scout cookies: those peanut butter ones which are pretty good, but not the above; peanut butter patties which maxes me out at about one box a sitting, and thin mints (sans chocolate dipping).

So let's see here - sauerkraut soup and massive amounts of Girl Scout cookies. I guess leaving my colon on a medical waste dump was obvious to every one but me, eh?

Sunday, January 27, 2008

to die a noble death ...

Colette Mills, very ill with cancer: I would like to take that medicine.
NHS: Sorry, ma’am, we haven’t prescribed that drug for you.
Mills: Yes, I know, but it is my body, my illness, I would like to take it, please.
NHS: Sorry, ma’am, we have not prescribed it. Anyway, it is very expensive, about four thousand pounds.
Mills: I will pay for it myself. I am not asking that you do anything. Just let me have the drug.
NHS: Sorry, ma’am. The NHS has a rule – if you opt to pay for something privately, like this drug, then you have to opt out of the entire system. You will have to pay for your entire medical bill yourself. You will no longer be covered by the National Health System.
Mills: But all I want is this drug that may save my life!
NHS: Sorry, ma’am, rules are rules.

(Four months pass as appeals are made.)

NHS: Ma’am?
Mills: Yes?
NHS: About that drug, whether we would let you have it or not is a mute point. Your cancer has spread to the point where it will no longer help you.

Think I exaggerate? Read for yourself. Fuck you people and your solicalized medicine.

I am not going to research this topic. I know full well the system is a nightmare. Here is message board that seems to be up to date, and here are some highlights.

Socialized medicine. Too funny.

gut shot

I understand business decisions. I suspect Tyson was cautious when it decided to cease cattle operations and let go 1,500 people with a couple of weeks notice. I honestly do believe that the caricature of the heartless business executive is largely just that. Corporate assholes do exist, but they are rare and usually die of loneliness. Regardless, as near as I can calculate from this source data and the references in the article above, it seems that Emporia, Kansas, just lost 1 out of 6 jobs. That’s an incredible burden on a lot of families. I had to zoom out to mid-scale on google maps to see that not much exists around Emporia to soak up the workers. Sad day there.

Friday, January 25, 2008

food from the mothership

Table for one? Non-smoking? Right this way ...


Does this sound good to you? I’m still mulling it over.

Latvian Sauerkraut Soup

Ingredients:

5 Cups Seasoned Vegetable Broth
2 Cups Sauerkraut -- Drained
1/2 Cup Sour Cream
Salt And Pepper -- To Taste
6 Small Potatoes -- Cubed and Cooked

Directions. Bring broth and sauerkraut to a boil. Simmer for 20 minutes. Add sour cream and mix well. Season with salt and pepper. Add potatoes and bring to a serving temperature. Serve.

Got it under the Latvian entry. I switched the broth from beef – I do, after all, have some pride.

I have read the recipe several times. Thought about lifting the soup to my mouth, presumably with a spoon, but the sauerkraut is throwing me. Do I eat it like spaghetti? As I run through the visual, my colon tries to get my attention. Not sure what it wants yet. I would be very clear on my colon’s reaction if the directions ended with, “Serve cold.”


Same link, but now under Poland/Polish

Pickled Eggs

Ingredients

3 Cups Beet Juice
1 Cup Red Wine Vinegar
8 Whole Peppercorns
4 Whole Allspice
4 Whole Cloves
1 Bay Leaf
6 Eggs -- hard cooked & peeled

Directions. Heat all but eggs to boiling. Pour over the eggs. Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours. Serves 1.

The best part of this recipe is the very end: Six eggs, three cups beet juice, et al., yet serves one. God bless ya! And I am the one with a replaced colon – go figure!

Romania has a good looking recipe here.

Creamed Potato Soup

Ingredients

2 Large Leeks -- Chopped
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1 Pound Potatoes -- Cubed
1 Can Tomato Paste
Salt and Pepper -- To Taste
4 Tablespoons Sour Cream
4 Tablespoons Parmesan Cheese
2 Cans Vegetable Broth

Directions. Sauté leeks in oil for 5 minutes. Add potatoes and broth. Simmer for 20 minutes. While still in the pan, mash coarsely. Mix in tomato paste, salt and pepper. Simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in sour cream and cheese. Serve. Serves 4.

There is no way you will need more salt in this recipe between the cheese, vegetable broth, and potatoes (they always taste a bit salty to me). I can’t picture the effect of the tomato paste yet. Yeah, looking over the recipe, it uses “can” like that is a measurement of some sort. We’ll figure it out.

Last one … under Russian

Moldavian Vegetable Soup

Ingredients

5 Tablespoons Unsalted Butter
1 Large Onion -- finely chopped
2 Cloves Garlic -- sliced
2 Medium Leeks -- sliced
1 Large Parsnips -- julienned
1 Stalk Celery -- finely chopped
3 Small Green Peppers -- finely chopped
1/4 Teaspoon Dried Thyme
1/4 Teaspoon Dried Marjoram
5 Cups Vegetable Broth
Bouquet Garni
3 Medium Potato -- cubed
Salt And Pepper -- to taste
1 Can Plum Tomatoes -- finely chopped
1 Package Corn -- rinsed in warm water
2 Tablespoons Lemon Juice
3 Tablespoons Fresh Parsley -- finely chopped
3 Tablespoons Fresh Dill -- finely chopped
Sour Cream

Directions. Sauté onion, garlic, leeks, parsnip, celery and peppers in butter about 20 minutes. Add thyme, marjoram, stock and bouquet garni. Bring to boil. Boil for a few minutes. Add potatoes, salt and pepper. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered for 20 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, simmer until potatoes are tender. Add corn and lemon juice. Cook for 4 minutes. Remove bouquet garni. Adjust seasonings. Let soup stand 15 minutes before serving. Serve sprinkled with parsley, dill and sour cream. Serves 6.

Now we get “can” and “package” as a system of measurement. So funny. I’ll make these recipes and get back to you.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

site meter follies followed by ramblings

Answer: In this order, ABC News, the FBI, an NPR piece, Wikipedia, Jihad Watch, the Saudi Embassy, me.

Question: What is google’s top seven for “wanted terrorist from yemen”? Returned with july 2005 archive.

Yeah, that’s me, terrorist-hunting superhero. Even more fun, following me is Fox News, CNN, and the NYT. I also come in 20th! I wonder if I could sell my page rankings … CNN can use all the help it can get.

The internet is such a dangerous place to get information.

Seems our sitemeter follies a couple two tree posts below missed one cc: on Poindexter’s e: Talisman Energy, Calgary. Dat boy dun shard are storey un stoopud tings! If’n I had a momma I’d bea telling ‘er! Dang!

Answer: In this order, Food Timeline, What’s Cooking America, Motts, me.

Question: What is Google’s top four for the history of applesauce? Return with stupid clowns with a side of applesauce.

I am the authority on the history of applesauce immediately following Motts? You guys are in trouble!

Answer: I didn’t want to sound offensive, so I googled insensitive penis.

Question: What do I do with this limp dick with which I live?

Good advice inspired by one of my hero’s in this life.


Answer: That right there is my e.a.merkel double barrel rabbit ear shotgun.

Question: What the fuck is a rabbit ear shotgun?

This sounds dangerous, and I think the person who googled such a thing is probably way too into weaponry.

Answer: It removes the need to discuss jock itch sweat and detergents.

Question: What are bunched panties?

I understand googling “jock itch and detergent.” The little buddies can be sensitive sometimes, particularly in the summer months. The addition of “sweat” throws me. I fail to see the nexus to detergent. Sweat is a function of aeration, heat, and exertion. The detergent I use doesn’t make me sweat. I might get hives. I can see that. Sweat? Um, no.

I’m working on a theory here. If I ridicule enough people that visit my site, maybe I can achieve singularity. That point of infinite density the other side of which is completely unknown to science. Is it a worm hole to another part of me? Do I burst forward into something later catalogued as Big Bang Clyde, and through this dispersion of my matter form little galaxies that float around me like a herd of mosquitoes? Am I expanding or contracting? If you look at me with a really powerful telescope, will you see me when I was younger?

What will be my last thought as I lay dying? I suspect something about what I was going to do next like the laundry, or something I wanted to do like rinse my dinner plate. I think the profound thoughts will come in the hours before, provided I am not so cranked up on morphine that I am just watching the walls melt. Will I be alone? I think I will have a dog, so I better use big bowls in case I am not found for a few days.

My Great Aunt Nana was afraid of hospitals and she died in one. That always bothered me. My second cousin Craig lived a year after his fatal diagnosis and no one told me. That continues to piss me off.

My father told my brother and me that if his “dick sill worked” he “would have divorced your mother a long time ago.” I was saddened that he didn’t live until Viagra came on the market or that the whole poker tournament thing came after his death. He was an excellent card player. The last time I saw him alive was at a card game we both played in. I remember finally figuring out his game that night. I guess it was time.

I am getting ready to enter the next phase of my life. I think it will be my last. Will it last 30 years or more?

I just got T.Rex’s Dandy in the Underworld. Marc Bolan and the band were on tour when it came out on March 11, 1977. Six months later he was dead at age 30. I don’t understand why people die so young. He had an exceptionally good time while he was here, but don’t we all?

My skin gets dry in the winter. I started to use this soap I put on a scrungee thing. Seems to be helping. But I reach around to itch my lower back, and I feel hair there. Makes me wonder if I have hair on my ass. I am afraid to look. I am not going to itch there except through clothes to ensure that I gather no information. It is just something I don’t want to know.

Does everyone write poetry at some time in their life?

I lot of us have some perpetual fuck-up we know that makes our life look not so bad. Do those perpetual fuck-ups have someone they know even more fucked up? Is there no bottom to the pit?

I love old pennies. Wouldn’t it be cool to know precisely every story associated with a particular coin from its first use to the present? I pick up every penny I find. I save them. Remind me of my twin.

Time to transit …

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

politics distilled january 23, 2008

Just got done watching (over three days) the re-issued Born to Boogie. Remarkable slice of my life up there on the screen. It really was as I saw it in my mind all these years. Am listening to 20th Century Superstar as I write.

My twin is blissfully clueless on things politic, yet discussions come up at work, voting time is within sight, so I am going to distill the political landscape from time to time.

For the uninitiated, I am conservative by nature and independent by registration. I am conservative because I find that competition in an open marketplace is far superior to government-run anything. What’s the best run agency/department/whatever in the federal government? The United States Postal Service. Why? Because they are mandated by their charter to operate at breakeven, and the ultimate judge is the price for the first ounce of a first class letter. Every other federal and state agency/department/whatever is run like an asylum: give them what they need so they shut up and don’t hurt anyone. The problem is that they need more and more all the time.

I think unions suck primarily because they are socialism – just look at their political leanings: bigger government always. More proof? Look at what they did to the public school system. They invented the concept of social promotion – pass the kid to the next grade because he’ll feel badly being left behind. The result is graduating functional illiterates. I heard a teacher complain that No Child Left Behind made her prove competency in every subject. What do you teach? “Special Ed.” You have the kids for every subject? “Yes.” So you want to teach them something for which you cannot establish competency? “But they are spe--.” Smile. Pig.

So onto current politics.

Forget the dems and pubs for a moment. Ralph Nader and Mike Bloomberg are sniffing around the edges as if they may start campaigning. We had Ross Perot a few cycles ago – John Anderson a few cycles before that. Third parties were common until FDR changed the name on the deed for the White House. Let at the historical record: the Socialist party always ran a candidate. After several cycles of FDR, what emerged with the dems and pubs. The Socialists somehow folded into the dems. Seeing other folks raise their hands to join is not new, nor will elect anyone from that ticket – but it could play kingmaker. Ross Perot took enough votes from George the Elder to give Bubba a plurality victory. Mike Bloomberg will do the same thing to Hillary – but I bet he is waiting to enter until it is clear Hillary will be the nominee. I think he detests her, and would love to do to her what Ross did to the Elder.

The dems race is just two people – Hillary and Obama. Hillary’s biggest problem is that her negatives are so high. If we had absolute knowledge, I bet she sets a record every time votes are cast for people that vote against her rather than for her opponent. She is paper thin, she has junk yard dogs surrounding her, and she does everything to fulfill the picture of a candidate rather than the substance. Just look at how quickly the press turned on her following NH. It is clear they detest yet fear her. The best part of watching her campaign is to see Bubba work his old parlor tricks. In the 1990s, they were magic; today they are the fuddy-duddy uncle whom everyone gives the stage to for a few minutes out of past respect.

Hillary's votes are institutional votes: unions, people that believe government should solve all problems, etc. She knows her base – she just said yesterday that government should play a bigger role in the economy. Good lord, lady, can you be more of an open socialist? No one does government-run health-care on this planet that is anywhere comparable to our competitive system. You want to tax away huge profits of oil companies? Then you need to accept that the oil companies were stop making comparable investments. In fact, they will leave American soil in total. They will build gas refineries in South America and Mexico, and ship refined oil up. You think 65% imported oil and about 20% imported gas is a lot? Just go messing with the capitalist society. You cite, monster thighs, that there are 43 million people without insurance in this country. You are either stupid or a liar. You know full well that number is the number of people without private insurance. You know full well that government programs pick up over 80% of those people. You also know that every county in this nation is required to have one hospital that serves every emergency without asking about ability to pay. In fact, they cannot even accept insurance cards until the emergency service has been rendered. Our system works, and mark my words, lady, you will destroy it if you let the government run it.

I have heard first-hand stories about this woman and her treatment of those around her. She is simply not a nice person. She is ruthless, condemning, angry, and walks through life as if she deserves everything. I just cannot consider a person like her to be worthy of a vote. If she were my neighbor, we would not be friends. If she were my coworker, we would not share time outside job requirements.

Obama is an interesting person. Too young to have any clue beyond a vision. Maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe Reagan was so good because he was too old to have anything but a vision.

You know what? I’m bored. Onward. Obama another day.

The Brits are going to extract cell stems out of the bone marrow of heart patients, and inject them into the scarred portions of the heart. They figure six months post-injection is a good measurement time. The only problem with the study is that they are going to give an equal number of people placebos. False hope. They already know what will happen with no stem cells added. Why not expand the study to give everyone a chance? Kinda sad.

This is humorous … Algore’s globe-be-toasty science is taking a cold bath lately, so he’s found himself a new position: gay marriage should be legalized across the nation. Quoting the boy, “Gay men and women ought to have the same rights as heterosexual men and women -- to make contracts, to have hospital visiting rights, to join together in marriage, and I don't understand why it is considered by some people to be a threat to heterosexual marriage.” It is considered, Atheist Al, to be against teachings in the Bible. That’s the issue, son. Let’s be clear, ok? And actually, for someone so versed as ignoring data as you, I guess it comes as no surprise that you have ignored the data out of European countries that have approved gay marriage: more children being raised in single-parent homes, more juvenile delinquency, and more drug use. Maybe instead of being a threat to heterosexual marriage, Allie, it can be viewed as a threat to our next generation. What an inconvenient truth, eh?

More another day.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

sitemeter follies

It started innocently enough. Hethcliffe was sitting at his desk at the Alberta Energy Company Limited in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and was completely bored. So he googled, ”banning stupid”. Seems a reasonable thing to google for a man in Hethcliffe's prone position.

There we sat, occupying the number one spot with, ”try banning stupid people instead.”

Being the reasonable sort, and, remember, bored to the point of stacking aspirin at 7:30 AM, Hethcliffe clicks on through and reads. Seems we brought a smile to his nicotine and caffeine stained teeth. How nice. Too bad his tremors that aren't serious enough for socialized medicine to treat make typing a challenge for him.

“I cannot keep such mirth to myself,” chortled Hethcliffe. He sent it off in an e to a coworker, his wife, and his girlfriend.

At 8:26 AM, the coworker open the e, clicks through, speed-reads so he can claim to Hethy that he read it, then goes back to viewing Japanese cartoon porn.

His wife, Reginald, works at the Calgary Regional Health Authority. Seems Regi’s father was very unforgiving when he learned the gender of his newborn. Regi still feels awkward in pathyhose.

It took Regi until 8:57 AM to click through her husband’s link (he has no hesitation or awkwardness wearing panty hose). She reads, knowing Hethboy will quiz her tonight at dinner, makes a few notations to remember the content which she will read on the drive home, and goes back to saving patients from the ravages of Vancomycin-resistant Enterococcus.

At 8:59 AM, Hethy’s girlfriend sits in front of her computer hoping for some meaningful e’s from her precious Hethy. Her ISP is Telus Communications, which, to be direct, has been more reliable that Heth lately. “There’s an e!” she breathlessly says to herself. Opening it, hoping for “You eyes are pools running deeply with love” or just something even tangentially romantic, she is yet again crestfallen. “Hey, pookster, this guy cracks me up. Check out this link …” Another lonely morning with the vibrator.

About an hour later, at 10:01 AM, Hethcliffe gets back from a smoke break, and clicks through three pages, laughing uproariously. His coworker ignores the subsequent e’s. His wife is too focused on a real job to even check her e-mail. His girlfriend is focused on switching batteries and calling out another man’s name.

Poor Hethcliffe, just another lonely guy working for the power company in Calgary. Poor, clueless Hethcliffe. Poor, clueless, pathetic Hethcliffe.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

royal flatuence

That She-Man with the Monstrous Thighs “won” the Nevada caucus just like Algore “won” the presidency in 2000 – more popular votes, less delegates. Good job, ThaSMoT!

A couple of interesting quotes concerning Norway’s socialized health-care system: “Norwegians have complained for years over the long waiting lists they face for care at local hospitals. Now a new report shows that care for the elderly is far from sufficient in what's widely billed as one of the world's wealthiest countries.

“A survey of 80,000 elderly persons living in 162 Norwegian townships indicated that only those with the most serious medical ailments and disabilities received a room in a nursing home.”

Hunh. Go figure. Even “one of the world's wealthiest countries” can’t pull it off. Maybe there’s something to this capitalist-based system afterall.

Now maybe the elderly can’t get into a nursing home, but a dude that lived in a cave and garbage dump and won’t bathe can. What a great country!

You know that line about farting in front of the Queen? Like it’s a bad thing? Seems the Norwegian royal family rents itself out to read erotic fairy tales at company parties. Norway is such an interesting country!

So it seems that when silicon electrodes go on steroids when lithium is added and bulk up about four times. Then, like Giambi after he got scared of losing his big contracts, they deflate about the same when power is extracted. This expansion and contraction, it seems, makes for a pretty shitty battery – it just stops working before it leaves the factory. Now the idea is to work on a smaller scale – do it on nanotech and limit the thickness of the silicon to one thousandth of a hair. The expansion still occurs, but survives the cycles. The upshot is that silicon holds charge ten times better than carbon. Laptops would run 40 hours. I think I got all this right, if not read it yourself. I won’t be offended. Fuck you for doubting me.

Remember Mount St. Helens? Before and after shots.



Remember that dude name Harry Truman that refused to leave his cabin on the side of the mountain? I think he was in what is now the cleavage. I doubt there’s even DNA left.

This is interesting. A site with several lists to hook you up with free short- and long-term housing. One of the sample ads here reads, “HOUSE GUEST(S) wanted to occupy a mountain cottage(s). Full time. Located in the foothills, one hour from Sacramento. Bottom of canyon. Four miles from freeway. You can fish off the porch. Keep all gold found in the river. Must love outdoors, remoteness. Pets permitted. References required. No job. No addictions. Please leave a message.” $30 a year to subscribe – about 200 ads an issue. Great way to disappear.

Want to talk to the dead? Here’s your guidebook. Let me know how it works out for you.

Gotta run …

Saturday, January 19, 2008

time lasped

Start off doing this:



Sometimes this will happen:



And eventually this happens (first 1,100 days of her life):




And then they grow up (same dude, 8 years):

politcally irresponsible

In case you have nothing to do this afternoon, here’s the Logo Channel Saturday afternoon lineup. The ellipses are from the website.

My Mums Used to Be Men. Meet Louise, the 12-year old daughter of two transgender parents living in Great Britain. When Louise finds herself the subject of media frenzy surrounding her parents' lifestyle, she decides to reach out to families that are constructed similarly to her own. After meeting a boy named Jamie and a transgender mother named Claire, Louise feels less... (So this guy is probably gay. Then he gets a sex change, and hooks up with a woman. How ironic.)

The Believers. What happens when a group of trans-people want to reclaim their spirituality and start an all-trans gospel choir? Transcendence Gospel Choir, the first ever entirely transgender choir, consists of individuals who are attempting to overcome feeling "Bible burnt" by the Christian Right while at the same time trying to form a musically cohesive choir... (I am sure looking at who sings soprano and who sings bass would be rather confusing. I love the use of the label, “Christian Right” like it’s a bad thing.)

Camp Out. If it isn't hard enough being a gay teenager in the midwest, imagine being a gay Christian teen. With the derision of society, family and the church against them, ten gay Christian teenagers struggle to confront the questions of faith and their burgeoning sexuality in light of what their church and Christian society has told them. This documentary... (“Burgeoning sexuality”? Is this a soft porn piece?)

Why is the underlying theme of all of these bits so negative? Why is that worn in the sleeve so consistently and blatantly? Can’t movies be made about the gay culture that are positive and supporting? It is always so much “them versus us.”

I was driving home today and heard an old Buffalo Springfield song (“For What It’s Worth”) that struck a thought:

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong


(Here’s the YouTube.)

THAT is precisely the problem with the democratic argument in politics today. The pubs say, “They [Islamic pilots and blow-up dolls] are wrong. We are right.” Libs say, “We are wrong” – and then END the commentary. They spend hours and hours droning on about how wrong W is – but they NEVER say, “Those people over there are wrong, TOO.” So the pubs gleefully call the libs “enablers.” That’s the price paid for presenting half an argument.

I am finding it so hard to stay away from politics. When such stupid stories come out, how can I? Tell me if you can in any manner believe this story:

(Confirmed voice recording of Bill Clinton): There is this whole business of the new politics. Well I got a taste of the new politics today. We need a new politics where we all love each other. You’ve heard all that. There’s a radio ad up in the northern part of Nevada telling Republicans that they ought to just register as Democrats for a day so they can beat Hillary and go out and be Republicans next week and vote in the primary. Doesn’t sound like the new politics to me.

Today when my daughter and I were wandering through the hotel, and all these culinary workers were mobbing us telling us they didn’t care what the union told them to do, they were gonna caucus for Hillary.

There was a representative of the organization following along behind us going up to everybody who said that, saying 'if you’re not gonna vote for our guy were gonna give you a schedule tomorrow so you can’t be there.' So, is this the new politics? I haven’t seen anything like that in America in 35 years. So I will say it again – they think they're better than you.


Think about this for a moment. An ex-President of the United States, complete with Secret Service protection, actually witnesses a union rep saying these things? Sees a union goon following behind taking names and numbers of defectors? Oh. My. God. And he rather sheepishly ignored this situation? Wasn’t there press around him at the time? This lie is so frickin’ blatant. Bubba is just trailer-park trash. He has lost all his personal credibility. The boy is imploding. What a shame.

Actually, I don’t look at New Hampshire as a Hillary win at all. I see it all as packaging. They set it up that if Obama didn’t win big, then Hillary was the “comeback bull.” In reality, that was just a repackaging of her 20-point lead that evaporated. Obama made up 20 points in a week. She collapsed in NH. Today, Nevada should be interesting since Hillary lost the lawsuit to block casino voters from voting at work (caucusing, whatever). It will be fun to see the teacher vote that Hillary loses. Of course, Hillary is packaging South Carolina as a no-expectations state because of the disproportionate black vote. These people are so unbelievably racist.

Let’s see … we hit gays, Quran thumpers, and liberals. What’re we missing? Let me think. The handicapped!

OK, so this mentally handicapped prostitute is waving down vehicles. Some guy being interviewed said that she had “just really poor hygiene.” Ten bucks for a little hum time. The customer is or was in law enforcement. Remarkable little vignette.



Funny thing is, I have often said that I would never pay for sex. But isn’t marriage the same thing at a higher price?

See ya …

Friday, January 18, 2008

things we know now, 2007 ed.

I’m back from Boston. Three days of panhandlers and gay marriage. Interesting town.

Found an article listing 50 things we learned during 2007. Here’s a few of the more learned ones …

3. Men who have only daughters have a higher risk of prostate cancer than men with at least one son, suggesting a chromosome defect. (Got one of each. Just fine. Keep your fingers out of my ass, thank you very much.)

4. Baking pizza dough at higher temperatures for longer periods enhances levels of antioxidants that researchers believe reduce a person's risk of developing cancer and heart disease. (I don’t eat pizza for the health benefits. I eat it because I specifically do not care about my health. Leave my diet alone.)

6. People who are optimists do better in most avenues of life, whether it's work, school, sports or relationships. They get depressed less often than pessimists do, make more money and have happier marriages. (What are you implying? That I am angry? Depressed? WTF? Leave me alone. I’M FINE. DAMMIT.)

8. Minorities from low-income areas are at increased risk for having a leg amputated as a result of severe peripheral artery disease, or PAD, a type of atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries, of the legs. (Yeah, OK, but why? This is like saying that women that engage in sexual relations have an increased risk of getting pregnant. This is pure data reduction. We learned nothing. NOTHING. See 6 above.)

9. A survey of 25,000 Americans found that 62 percent said they do not eat any fruit on a typical day, and 25 percent said they do not eat vegetables. All told, 11 percent ate the recommended number of servings of fruits and vegetables, it found. (Well, if you would stop making pyramids and circles and whatever else you contrive to help us stupid people get confused about nutrition, then maybe, just maybe we can figure out what to eat. You people give me the yips. See 6 above.)

11. Electronic noses used in the food industry and for sniffing out explosives can perform better with the addition of artificial "snot." (I knew snot was good for something besides a midnight snack.)

14. Scientists have discovered particles of cocaine and marijuana, as well as caffeine and tobacco, in the air of Italy's capital. The concentration of drugs was heaviest in the air around Rome's Sapienza University, though officials warned against drawing conclusions about students' recreational habits. (Gather the data and refuse to interpret. How utterly useless. If the concentration is higher in Place “A” rather than Place “B” then is follows that more of the substance is present in “A” – and it didn’t get there through thermal inversions.)

17. Dolphins living off the coast of Wales whistle, bark and groan in a different dialect from dolphins off the western coast of Ireland. (Do you think maybe the dolphins off the coast of Ireland are drunk? Maybe it’s just slurred speech?)

22. Women who enjoyed strong childhood relationships with their fathers prefer to have a male partner who physically resembles him. (I love my daughter. I didn’t want this for her. I am very sad.)

26. Ape-men ancestors began walking on two legs 6 million years ago because it used far less energy than clambering on all fours. (Yeah, whatever. I’m a creationist. You people crawled around on all fours. I was made in God’s image – walking from Day One.)

29. Onions contain a sulfur-based antioxidant that binds with harmful toxins in the brain and flushes them out of the body, helping to prevent memory loss. (That’s a good story. Eat onions. Got it.)

31. Sex among African bat bugs is a violent affair. During copulation, males of the species pierce the abdomens of their mates with their genitals and ejaculate directly into their blood. (I can’t comment on this. I am vomiting.)

33. Small children stress out about starting kindergarten up to six months before school starts, suggesting youngsters may take cues from their anxious parents. (So the story goes, my biological fount was all freaked out about me going. I ran gleefully to the school. So much for the theory.)

38. Overweight women who face employment weight bias could be victims of sex discrimination. Women are 16 times more likely than men to report weight discrimination in the workplace. (Oh. My. God. Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.)

45. The therapeutic, relaxing effect on the arteries provided by drinking a few cups of ordinary black tea is wiped out if milk is added to the drink. (Kinda explains why the Brits are so cranky.)

49. The parasitic jewel wasp uses a venom injected directly into a cockroach's brain to inhibit its victim's free will and its motivation to walk. Unble to fight back, the "zombie" cockroach can be pulled into the wasp's underground lair, where an egg is laid in its abdomen. The larva later hatches and eats the still living but incapacitated cockroach from the inside out. (Wasn’t this in Silence of the Lambs or one of the sequels?)

I am so tired from the drive … night.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

double the dosage cut the time in half; repeat 4 times

I was watching ESPN and they were showing this guy catching a ball and running and then getting hit, and then another guy was trying to run and somebody hit him. Then they showed yet another guy trying to catch a ball and he missed it. Then some really big guy was dancing. And then two guys were yelling at each other. And then a whole lot of guys were dancing like the grass was a nightclub. Then some guy was crying as he talked. It was all really weird. I think I took too many of my pills. I’m feeling tired. I’m gonna lay down for a while. Bye.

Hi! I’m in the hospital now. I got some tube in my arm and this woman with “LSW” after her name is asking me why I did it, was I feeling ok, was anything bothering me, could she get me some juice, did I feel like visitors. I asked her to change the channel to ESPN and leave. I can’t find my socks.

Do you like pierogi? If you’re anywhere near Whiting, Indiana, in late July, you have to go to the Pierogi Fest. Yep, doesn’t get any better than a pierogi eating contest and polka party. I like mine fried with onions and enough salt to stroke out a busload of campers.

If you think the fun stops at the eating contest, don’t forget the pierogi toss, where you get to throw a “buttery ball of dough.” Sounds like fun. And then there is “Eastern Bloc Jeopardy.” Really? I’ll take Women with Feedbags for $200, Alex.

A: The women of this Eastern Bloc country have thighs whose circumference exceeds the average hat size of men in that same country.
Q: What is Poland?

Heart Attack on a Plate for $300.

A: This food product’s main ingredient is lard.
Q: What is Breakfast in Krakow?

Do I have to? For $200

A: This Eastern Bloc tradition precedes a child’s confirmation.
Q: What is Breakfast in Krakow?

Gotta love pierogi and all the tradition surrounding it.

I’m kinda upset that I can’t find my socks. Getting angry. Why am I signing all these papers? I think I better go.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

how very odd

Two people, both adoptees, meet and feel a deep connection. Such compatibility. They befriend, date, betroth. They marry. Then they find out that they are twins, separated at birth. Ouch. The court tossed their marriage. That’s harsh. “I thought you tasted familiar …”

President Bush stuck to his principles in the summer of 2001 when he limited federal funds for stem cell research if those cells came from unborn children. The guy opposes abortion – and whether you do or not – he was consistent. Good for him. The libs excoriated him, even though he was the first to allow ANY money for such research and every single advance before and after has been from adult stem cells. Regardless, isn’t it interesting that given constraints how innovation will occur? Just released, a method to harmlessly harvest fetal stem cells. Remarkable.

Saw a lot of these Smart cars in Europe. Coming here this year. They are very efficient: upon impact, they simply explode – leaving nothing for road crews to clean up, including anything but trace remains of you. Family members are given test tubes and everything needed to hermetically seal them, along with directions and encouragement to gather DNA samples prior to use of the vehicle.

Can you relate?

I enjoy articles about things astromonical. But check this quote – "It's an odd universe we live in," said Vanderbilt University astronomer Kelly Holley-Bockelmann.

Odd? She’s referencing the universe. No wait … she is referencing the universe. So, um, “odd” compared to what, exactly?

These people give me the yips.

Is there really a market for a glow-in-the-dark pussy? I mean, outside the porn industry?

Nuremberg had a baby polar bear and set up a website. It’s in German, but the pics tell the whole story. You can translate the page if you want to. Put the page URL in the box towards the bottom, select from German to English, and hit Translate. Works well.

I thought my life was dysfunctional … this guy goes to a brothel for some action and finds his wife there. Yeow!

Enough for now.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

remembering picnics

The past comes alive sometimes. It is remarkable to me how I can remember some things so clearly. Since that TIA thing, I had whole swaths of my memory go poof! on me. So much is just not there or is reduced to 2D images without depth or affect of any kind. But some things remain. I wonder what the sort was that was used by my mind? Was it random or by design? I would like to think the latter. I remember certain smiles. I remember being at a carnival and these two young girls were so excited to be able to do whatever they wanted to. I love carnivals. The people that work them are such a unique bred. Hardened by the road. Memories come to me with scents – I don’t mean I catch a fragrance and a memory rises. Instead, I recall something and it becomes real for me, including the scents and sounds and touch. I remember a park by Harrisburg that I spent a lot of days visiting. I love the whole concept of parks. Teddy Roosevelt, right? Sir Edmund Hillary died today. He used to climb things. I remember walks by the water. Doesn’t matter if it is the ocean or a lake in a park; they are all so fresh in my mind. I’ve been to Yellowstone Park. I love picnics, although I have only had a few in my lifetime. I find it so amazing that someone would plan out a meal or a snack or anything along those lines, and then figure out the logistics of fitting into a square container, only to unfold this expansive meal. So very cool.

I love the drive I take occasionally to work in Virginia. Crossing the M-D line has always been special to me. Not sure why. I have always felt that good things lie on the other side. Is it just because it isn’t here? I felt the same way in California. Good things were there, too. Maybe the good things there up and moved, so I have transferred that in my mind? Now that’s just rambling, musing …

I wonder about past things coming alive again. Scary, familiar, comforting. There were some periods of relative safety. Those can come alive again.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

no mas

Hillary won? This is why I bailed on politics. Millions and millions of dollars spent on polling techniques, and they get it completely wrong. Politics is a child’s game. Reminds me of being at Shadowbrook Diary when I was 10 or 11 with my dad. I said, “I want this!” It was some ice-cream dish with the most wonderful description. My dad gently talked me out of it by pointing out other dishes, one of which I eventually got. Twenty-five or 30 years later I was at the same place. They had substantially the same menu. There was my dish! The one I wanted when I was with my dad! “Six heaping scoops of ice cream smothered in …” Oh. It was a local dish, came with a feed bag, a catheter, and free overnight parking. No wonder he talked me out of it.

Politics is nothing but putatively believable manipulation. Child’s game. I am done with children’s games.

Let Hillary and Obama fight the good fight. Let Hillary turn ugly (uglier). Next.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

arkansas trash

Over the past year as the democrat primaries were moved forward in time, I felt that the Clintons were behind it for one simple reason: Hillary is not designed for long-term wear. She needed a coronation, not a mud fight. With her ability to raise money, the assumption was there that she would overwhelm all comers like a huge wave engulfs kids swimming just a few feet from shore.

Iowa comes. View the statements in and around the voting so far. The night before Iowa, Bubba talks about him losing that state, too. In NH, Hillary dismisses Iowa as NH being a “new state, a new day.” Bill said yesterday that Iowa made a mistake. Claimed people were voting for a “fantasy.” He said that the short time between Iowa and NH – which I continue to maintain he engineered – meant that voters were not casting based upon their hearts but headlines. Hillary cries, literally, about how hard it is on the trail, and then remains stoic as a supporter publicly and to her face mentions assassination and Obama in the same sentence. Funny, she was very quick to denounce some people holding up shirts asking her to iron them, as if a woman's place is in the home - why did that seem planted to me? She dismissed MLK’s work as only beginning when LBJ “passed” (she used that word) the Civil Rights Act of 1964. She somehow forgot to add that Senate republicans passed the Act over the strong objections of the democrats, including the rather vocal Algore, Sr.

How utterly despicable these people are. When the results go against them, they attack the voters as misguided lemmings. “Listen to me. I know what you should do. I am right – you are wrong.” I thought I was narcissistic. Naw, I know I am. But I do not hold a candle to these clowns.

Why is Obama so popular right now? Perhaps no more a reason than Jimmy Carter got elected: the democrats want a change. There has been 28 years of either a Bush or a Clinton in the White House. Hillary wants that to be 32 or 36. Even FDR’s run ended at 20 years when Truman left office. It is time for a change.

It is time for Obama? I have no idea. I’m an independent with long republican roots. I will not vote in the primary. I will wait to see if I will vote in the general. I think Obama is going to get excoriated in the general campaign, but so does every candidate on the national platform. We’ll have to see if the heat tempers him or exposes structural flaws.

Hillary will get pounded today in NH. The real issue is how close to 50% Obama can get. If he cracks well into the 40s, then the fickle California crowd will follow his aura. That will toast Hillary. Her only chance is to sweep February 5. In the interim, she will lose South Carolina and Nevada. The latter has to be particularly galling to her.

I watched her Senate campaign as the NY Carpetbagger which was so carefully orchestrated to avoid any possibility of confrontation, of probing. Try as she might, that is just not possible in a presidential campaign. The national press, no matter how tightly in bed they were with her before, are egomaniacs drunken with their power. They love to take people down. The scent of blood blinds them. Hillary’s third-place finish in Iowa, even though by just tenths of a percentage point, was all they needed. Second place is no longer any good for her. She must win. The measuring rod has become the margin of victory by Obama. The longer the rod, the more blood in the water.

How much do these people lie? Bubba’s cell phone rings. He says that only Hillary has the number. Think about that. For everything the guy is involved in, from fundraising to fornication, all he has is a dedicated hotline to Hillary? Just does not ring true, not even considering that he has multiple phones but only one with him. His words ring as hollow as when he said, “I think we all know what we are talking about” as he dodged the “sexual relations” questions.

These people are trailer-park trash that has been dressed up to look pretty. They left their social strata and played with the elites for a long time based, in large part, upon Bubba being an “exceptionally good liar.”

It’s time to go home, people. In truth, we really never knew you, and what we did know we didn’t like very much.

What will be interesting is the next phase. When the Clintons lose their powerbase and are no longer feared by former associates, the books to be written are going to be exceptionally brutal. No, I do not feel sorry for them in the least.

Want a very bold prediction? Michigan moved their primary up considerably, and in a show of support with the national party, all of the major candidates withdrew and no longer appear on the ballot - except Hillary. Watch a groundswell of write-ins for Obama. If he wins that state based upon a write-in campaign, Hillary will lose it publicly and ugly.

Monday, January 7, 2008

dreams

The pic below is the masthead from a blog I surfed onto. Not that anyone is asking, but this is my dream car. I don't know what it is. I would begin my description with, "It's green and weighs the same as my double-wide ..."

Sunday, January 6, 2008

much-needed perspective

Sometimes in life we need a barometer by which to measure if we are doing ok. Events can appear insurmountable; depression can be seen or tasted. It helps oftentimes to view another’s life to put our own in perspective. Maybe with this frame of reference our cloud can have a silver lining, the sun may peak through.

The life and times of Bryan James Hathaway is my perspective for today. As the sports guy Jim Rome says, when a story starts with a guy’s name that includes his middle name, you just know the story is not going to end well.

Bryan, age 21, is from Superior, Wisconsin. Mayor Dave Ross seems like an agreeable fellow. Superior is way the hell up there, beyond Minneapolis. It’s further north than Quebec City! Check the demographics - there were more people living there in 1900 than there is now. It’s been in a population freefall since 1930.

What’s a person to do in Superior? Get in trouble it seems.

His legal troubles began at least as early as April 2005, when he pled guilty to having sexual relations with Bambrick, a 26-year-old horse, which he shot and killed for the express purpose of ensuring the presence of a passive lover. It seems he also pled out at the same time to taking a vehicle without the owner’s consent. Must have needed a ride. Got 18 months in the pokey for that plus a bunch of probation.

Being out of jail on the horse poke, it seems he was driving down the road and noticed – ut oh – a dead deer in a ditch. D-d-d, da-de-de-da, da-deer! Poor Bryan could not contain himself. Pull over, pull down, pull out, and poke in. Busted.

Part of his sentence was a probationary period that included no sexual contact with anything – including humans!

Poor boy, his probation got revoked last month for using alcohol and marijuana, lying to his probation agent, and having unapproved contact with a minor child and sexual relations with another adult.

Must be lonely up there in Superior, Wisconsin.

Feel differently than I do about this pathetic fuck? Then join the 142 people that have signed the Petition to free Bryan!

Saturday, January 5, 2008

just talking ...

I don’t eat fully developed non-aquatic meat. So I am basically a veg, with fish, cheese, and eggs tossed in so that my male dominance has a place to be exercised. There’s a perverse joy in cracking open an egg, watching the unformed chicken turn opaque, and devouring the yoke as it drips off of toast all the while harboring this inner glow that I have saved a chicken from the horrors of commercial farming. In order to fully experience the moment, and avoid the harsh light of Socratic logic, I usually need to add distilled spirits to my coffee, this numbing my analytic abilities. That’s my reality: chronic inebriated narcissism. I think it might be a syndrome in Europe. Not sure. I should start a petition to get it recognized in DSM. It could be my legacy. Clyde’s Syndrome. We could get federal money to develop a fetal test for it. Liberal women could get abortions to avoid having kids like me. That’s an odd thought. “Don’t be a Clyde!” I could be a college course. There could be nervous expectations and hushed words shared about test results. “I have good news. You baby is not a Clyde,” followed by tears of joy. I think I may have something here.

In case you are wondering, here’s a helpful page with directions to roast an entire pig all at once. I have to throw up. brb.

I guess the legs are too long on a baby cow to cook the whole thing at once, so you to learn about the different cuts and how to cook those. Can I get a little “moo”?

This video is a bit over the top, but effective in seeing the worst practices. Mmm, good!

Want a funky (and free) email url such as yourname@DaddysBeenABadGirl.com? Sounds like a great coming-out present!

Need a custom warning label?



All for now ...

Thursday, January 3, 2008

they be out there, they be!

Regina, Saskatchewan, must lack nightlife. This dude (?) asks Yahoo! to find naughty talk to help me masterbait. Glad to help with the number one return. Makes me happy that I added Odiago to the site. Give a post a few hours and the audio feed comes back. You can even download the MP3 and take me with you! Let me start you off, ok? Oh baby, you are so, um, yes, that, oh, do that! Yes, mmm, wow. Tell me you’re Jewish! Oh, yes! Was that good for you, too?

I continue to get hits from left hand side dot com for a post I did on being left handed. I like people that link to me, including nice people like cookie bitch and totally unauthorized.

Los Angeles wants to know how to tell a girl masterbaits. Before I backtracked the hit to google, I just knew it was my catholic girls post and pleased that we got number one placement. So how do you tell? It is to laugh. Let’s put it this way: It is much easier to tell a girl that does not masturbate. Now get out a tablet, make two columns, and start observing. It’ll be come clear soon enough.

How the hell do I get number one ranking on spring cooter fest anderson sc? I did one post!

Someone’s getting a spanking tonight! Good old comcast dot net responds to one stop porn shop spokane with our Spokane is for Lovers. I am so glad the internet can answer any need.

Lincroft, NJ, googles "your wife masturbates" and returns number one with catholic girls. The guy even used the quotation marks. Hey! Fuck you, buddy! Mind your own business.

Remember that post on Ron Mueck, sculptor guy? Amazing work. He doesn’t have his own website, and we return third on google from ron mueck official site. I guess his work is too limited to warrant anything but a highly specialized market that is already saturated with demand.

Calcutta, India, wants to know something: can marigold petals give fairness?. We’re third on google with eggs are gonna kill me. Short answer: no. Go away. Flower petals don’t give anything. They die. They shrivel up and die. Generally speaking, you can’t even get high smoking them. They. Give. Nothing.

I sure hope Los Angeles got a better answer to their concern that nothing is coming out of the dryer exhaust than give him a fair trial then hand him. Let me know how it worked out for you! The internet can be such a dangerous place to go for information – go figure!

Now here is something to be proud of (of which to be proud – yeah, yeah, yeah). Using Microsoft Live and searching whose right leg was 3/4" longer than his left leg? scans the billions and billions of web pages and returns our October 2007 Archive … but not just as the number one return. That is common as demonstrated above. No. In fact, hell no! The entirety of the digital knowledge of mankind is scanned, sorted, and presented as … wait for it … as the ONLY hit! I sure hope Pasco, Washington, isn’t too disappointed. May I suggest being a little less specific in your search string?

It’s fun coming up third for "it all falls into place," alice in wonderland. That return is driven by the Alice stuff in the sidebar. The very first version is linked there, besides the two commonly known ones.

I am feeling kind today, so I am leaving unlinked the requests for advice on household products and other more direct inquiries for step-by-step instructions. I think some are honest inquiries by young people. Oh well! Sorry you happened upon me – poor kiddies! I hope you are not scarred. Emotional scars heal so slowly. Here, read some of her diaries. You’ll be a pro by the third chapter. Patience, kids. And stay away from household appliances and foodstuffs. Please. Play safely. Write me! On second thought – don’t write me. That’s creepy. Stay away.

can't you smell that smell?

Gee, I wonder who is using push polls in Iowa?

What’s a “push pool,” you ask? Let’s presume that you and I are running against each other for the same political office. Lots of money is spent on polls commissioned by the candidates. So I slip in a poll question like, “There have been unsubstantiated rumors that Candidate X [you] organized a party during his college years at which farmyard animals were rented for sexual purposes. Does this influence your feeling about Candidate X a lot, somewhat, not too much, or not at all?” I have pushed negative information out to prospective voters. Tsk, tsk.

So two push-poll questions have surfaced in Iowa on the dem side. Just two questions. Let’s see …

"Some foreign policy experts say that John Edwards' plan to pull out all combat troops in Iraq within the next 10 months is irresponsible," says the questioner. "Does this statement influence your feeling about John Edwards a lot, somewhat, not too much, or not at all?"

"Barack Obama has taken millions of dollars from big banking and energy interests that have legislation before the Senate. Does this influence your feeling about Barack Obama a lot, somewhat, not too much, or not at all?"

Gee, I wonder who’s doing that.

Whenever Hillary gets around something, everything begins to smell like ass.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

politics without a parachute

There’s a few stories I could not pass up. What kind of story has the headline, “Hillary Clinton reveals human side in Iowa plea”? What does mean, exactly? There must be a “non-human” side that is ordinarily exhibited. How odd.

The story is not good for her, either. Phrases: “her voice hoarse,” “her aides desperately tried,” “included several attempts to portray Mr Obama as an ingénue,” (sorry, but ingénue just tain’t be in my normal lexicon), “Mrs Clinton, 60, argued,” “Mr Obama, 46, is increasingly confident,” “Mrs Clinton's chief strategist lambasted,” and “Mrs Clinton slipped into a soft, modulated voice - never used in public until recent weeks - to outline her human side.”

Sounds desperate. What a shame.

So what if old folks can’t get out because of snow? “Worried that elderly voters may be deterred by the snow, the Clinton campaign has distributed hundreds of green shovels to clear paths.” Dig yourself out, you old bag! Wow. She really does care!

Speaking of self-help, look at the turn socialized medicine is taking in Britain. Remember that 1/7th of the US economy that Hillary tried to take over when her husband was president? NHS patients told to treat themselves. What is meant by “treat themselves”?

~ Monitoring their own heart activity, blood pressure and lung capacity using equipment installed in the home
~ Reporting medical information to doctors remotely by telephone or computer
~ Administering their own drugs and other treatment to "manage pain" and assessing the significance of changes in their condition
~ Using relaxation techniques to relieve stress and avoid "panic" visits to emergency wards.

It doesn’t sound too bad, but the article focuses on those most hit by the reductions in service levels – the elderly with chronic conditions. It’s a good point. The real issue is the budget crisis they have because the government-run system removes any need for competitive pricing.

So, writing of budgets, all I wanted was a number. How much does the NHS spend? Whew! Several screens and I finally find this: NHS Expenditure 2003-2004. Let’s call it $64B pounds. Convert to US$ using the December 31, 2003, conversion rate of 0.5625 yields US$36B. (Here’s a historical currency converter.)

Let’s see … their population is 58,789,194, so that’s about US$612 a person. If we were to do health care are poorly as the Brits, it would be US$184B budget increase. Of course, both our standard and expectations of health care exceed what the Brits have and expect. So, a trillion dollars? My policy runs about US$1,300 a month for four people. Extrapolate that annually to the entire population and you get US$1.17T. Hillary? You got that?

In case you are truly bored, the FBI wants you to help. They finally got around to releasing information 36 years after the fact, and NOW ask you to help find D.B. Cooper. That’s the guy that jumped out of a plane over Washington State after getting parachutes and $200K delivered to the plane. Turns out, the guy didn’t really know what he was doing. The reserve chute was sewn shut and he didn’t check it; he had no coordinate detail on his location; the weather was really bad. He probably did not survive the jump. Some money did turn up years later downstream – bummer there.

Well, can’t wait to hear Hillary’s dance about an other-than-first-place finish in Iowa. Or will she squeak one out and announce that the people have spoken and the race is over? Whatever the results, you know she won’t be able to shut up.

Later …