My Aisling

John Kerry's Mystery Theater: Words of a Feather Stick Together

In today's episode, our hero is gallantly trying to outrun his own words. He bobs and weaves like a master equestrian of French training racing down a wood lined path, freshly consumed champagne diluting his saliva and emerging as that rarest of all things - vintage spittle frothing at the side of his mouth. Our hero is a true aristocrat!

Today's encounter reflects all the way back to 1971 - those dastardly Senate Hearings. A more extensive write-up is available in our hero's hometown newspaper, The Boston Globe. Two issues challenge Chumly to show his riding skill.

(Long-time readers know that "Chumly" is the term of endearment accorded our hero by his well-endowed and presently loving companion, Madam Ketchup, a somewhat tart woman who spreads money as liberally (literally and figuratively) as the working class spreads condiments.)

The first challenge:

1971. If the United States did not withdraw, Kerry said, then US bombing would continue, and "the war will continue. So what I am saying is that yes, there will be some recrimination but far, far less than the 200,000 a year who are murdered by the United States of America . . . ."

2004. Meehan, asked to explain Kerry's comment, said: "During a very emotionally charged time in American history, Senator Kerry was testifying against a failed policy, which resulted in the killing of hundreds of thousands of people. That policy resulted in one of the highest civilian casualty rate in the history of war. In answering Senator [George D.] Aiken's question about the consequences of an American withdrawal and potential additional bloodbath, Senator Kerry used a word he deems inappropriate.

"Senator Kerry never suggested or believed and absolutely rejects the idea that the word applied to service of the American soldiers in Vietnam. While opposed to the failed policy, Senator Kerry insisted that Americans must never confuse the war with the warriors."

Analysis. OK, boys and girls, how'd our hero do?

The first review is on the facts. "200,000 a year" dead Vietnamese. Here's the envelope!! Well, maybe. The war went from 1954 to 1975. Casualties listed for all sides. Approximately 2,000,000 NVA civilians died (more direct cite below). Certainly some years had more intensive fighting and collateral damage than other years. But where our hero comes up short is here: the only source for NVA casualties is ... the NVA!! And here is the 1995 press release, in the original French, followed by the English translation.

Next up the direct, unambiguous statement, "one of the highest civilian casualty rate in the history of war." For this review, let's accept our hero's 200,000 civilians a year number.

World War II lasted from 1939 to 1945. Civilian casualties averaged - not peaked as is required for our 200,000 assertion at 726,000 a year - and that was just for the bad guys! The good guys averaged 2,201,000 a year!! (This number excludes the claim of 10MM dead by the Chinese and reduces it to zero, thus ignoring the war between China and Japan that started in 1937.)

Approximately 8,000,000 combatants and civilians died in WWI ...

Well, let's stop picking on the unfortunate. Just ain't Christian.

Sorry, kids, we are out of time for today!! We will save our hero's Massachusetts Two-Step on just who killed all of this NVA civilians for our next episode. Stay tuned!!!!

A word from our sponsor: How do ask a man to be the last man to vote for a mistake? Wait. Strike that. Can we re-tape. Make-up!! I'm John Kerry and I need you vote ...

blogger dictionary update ... first two entries for Chumly were "comely" and "camel." Let's put the Tennessee Tuxedo reference to the side. Any artists out there that can morph Kerry into a comely camel named Chumly?