My Aisling

Another 500,000 jobs - these at the beach!!

Bullwinkle J. Kerry has his cane and hat at the ready. Under the cover of environmental protections, Kerry promises to end pollution as we know it and create 500,000 jobs at the same time.

When articulating his message, Bullwinkle said, "What we need to recognize is that being responsible about the environment is not some goo-goo, do-gooder, silly notion that you embrace once a year on Earth Day." (Do you believe this guy? Did the kindergarten book-reading not leave his psyche? What's a goo-goo notion?)

Kerry claims that W is cutting sewage construction projects and that this has led to increased runoff into the ocean. "The truth is, our air is more polluted today and getting more polluted, our water in many places is getting more polluted."

Further, Bullwinkle's "campaign released a lengthy critique of Bush's environmental policies, contending they have led to the dumping of an additional 21 tons of pollution into the air and contributed to an additional 100,000 premature deaths."

OK. Let's see. Here's an overview of how an ocean-front sewage system works. How long does it take to construct a plant? Here's an upgrade at six years.

Did W mothball a whole bunch of almost-completed plants? Otherwise, of course, the plants would still be in their construction cycle.

Twenty-one tons of pollution? This doesn't have to do with Clinton-era planned decreases in pollutants that W delayed because to implement them would have been cost prohibitive to industry and therefore to consumers? Is that like increasing a budget by 3% but being condemned for decreasing it because last year it went up 5%?

So how does a new administration march in and within three years contribute to 100,000 premature deaths? What does "contribute" mean? Is it anything like "yes" in response to a question about whether Bullwinkle will release all of his war records?

What a toon ...