Saturday, February 18, 2006

Zoo News: Meet the Flintstones

Former US president Bill Clinton on Friday condemned the publication of Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) caricatures by European newspapers and urged countries concerned to convict the publishers. Talking to reporters after meeting Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz in Islamabad, Clinton said he disagreed with the caricatures and that the publication was against religious and ethical norms. (Article)

PBUH? Isn’t that Fred Flintstone’s title – Grand PBUH? Is it a term of endearment for the prophet, like Christians saying Davey or Buddhists, buddy? And who is Clinton to refer to “religious and ethical norms”? I can still see the pic of BJ leaving church on Easter Sunday, Holy Bible in his hand, on his way back to the White House for a bj – kinda violates religious AND ethical norms all in one shot. Good shooting, cowpoke!

Maryland borders Pennsylvania, which borders Ohio, which borders Michigan. In that swath of America, extending 950 miles from the shores of the Chesapeake Bay to the shores of Lake Superior, this year's politics could produce a remarkable quartet of Republican victories -- black U.S. senators from Maryland (Michael Steele, who now is lieutenant governor) and Michigan (Keith Butler, former Detroit city councilman and currently pastor of a suburban church with a congregation of 21,000), and black governors in Pennsylvania (Lynn Swann, the former Pittsburgh Steeler) and Ohio (Ken Blackwell, currently secretary of state). (Article)

Black republicans? Who’da tunk? Let’s see. One of the Gumble boys – the one with the attitude and HBO show – said that the lack of black athletes made the Olympics look like a GOP convention. Republican Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves; Democrat Andrew Johnson refused to support legislation. Republicans pushed through the 1964 Civil Rights Act; Democrat Al Gore, Sr., sought to defeat it. Democrats pushed through the Judicial Improvement Act that opened prison labor to the United States to interstate commerce for the first time since the 1930s. You people figure it out – who’s giving you a handout and who’s giving you a hand up? Who’s keeping you working enough jobs to be poor and who’s reducing your taxes? I’m tired of the whining. Look at the facts honestly. Do your research.

I usually enjoy doing more stories. But as I read and read, all I found was more whining and pathetic victimology. Complaints to postpone New Orleans elections until all the displaced voters can return? Screw you – get an absentee ballot. China worried about Taiwan and Israel doubling trade since 1997 to $1BN? And what have you – Communist China – done about your trade since then? You are up to $125BN with us alone. You tripled in the 1990s. So you think Taiwan is going to find an ally in Israel? And you in Iran? Your whining is so, um, girly. Get a grip!

There is some light, although it is red. The real girls are having an open house. Sex shops in Amsterdam are open for inspection: Thousands of tourists and Dutch visitors took up the offer by the district's sex clubs and topless bars to step in for a free drink and a look around to counteract the establishments' seedy reputation.

Women allowed visitors into the cubicles where they conduct their business to explain hygiene regulations and the alarm system used when a prostitute encounters a difficult customer.

“Hey, Mommy, what’s that sm---?”

“Shush, Johnny. Forgive him, ma’am, he’s not used to such things as, well, you know. The couch looks comfortable! Tell me, are those trick handcuffs or the real thing?”

Ah, nothing like enlightened Europeans to show us the nuanced way of life.

No comments:

Post a Comment