double the dosage cut the time in half; repeat 4 times

I was watching ESPN and they were showing this guy catching a ball and running and then getting hit, and then another guy was trying to run and somebody hit him. Then they showed yet another guy trying to catch a ball and he missed it. Then some really big guy was dancing. And then two guys were yelling at each other. And then a whole lot of guys were dancing like the grass was a nightclub. Then some guy was crying as he talked. It was all really weird. I think I took too many of my pills. I’m feeling tired. I’m gonna lay down for a while. Bye.

Hi! I’m in the hospital now. I got some tube in my arm and this woman with “LSW” after her name is asking me why I did it, was I feeling ok, was anything bothering me, could she get me some juice, did I feel like visitors. I asked her to change the channel to ESPN and leave. I can’t find my socks.

Do you like pierogi? If you’re anywhere near Whiting, Indiana, in late July, you have to go to the Pierogi Fest. Yep, doesn’t get any better than a pierogi eating contest and polka party. I like mine fried with onions and enough salt to stroke out a busload of campers.

If you think the fun stops at the eating contest, don’t forget the pierogi toss, where you get to throw a “buttery ball of dough.” Sounds like fun. And then there is “Eastern Bloc Jeopardy.” Really? I’ll take Women with Feedbags for $200, Alex.

A: The women of this Eastern Bloc country have thighs whose circumference exceeds the average hat size of men in that same country.
Q: What is Poland?

Heart Attack on a Plate for $300.

A: This food product’s main ingredient is lard.
Q: What is Breakfast in Krakow?

Do I have to? For $200

A: This Eastern Bloc tradition precedes a child’s confirmation.
Q: What is Breakfast in Krakow?

Gotta love pierogi and all the tradition surrounding it.

I’m kinda upset that I can’t find my socks. Getting angry. Why am I signing all these papers? I think I better go.