Friday, January 4, 2013

need to write for a few ...

my mind is unsettled.  hoping a few paragraphs will clear away the jumbled thoughts, allow for me to focus.  i've got a motion to write today - quash evidence resulting from a bad search and seizure.  got jury questions to frame (voir dire) for three trials starting on tuesday of next week.  got a letter to ghost write for a client, but the thoughts she sent me couldn't be opened in the file format she used.  got another case that i need to think through either a plea or all-out war.  thump, thump, thump ... several other issues need addressing.  i'm not behind on any of them, just need to sort out my priorities.  also need to pick up a paper - and probably start subscribing.  yesterday's paper quoted me at some length.  i saw a story today that was devoted to my client - so i need to read it.

northern country boy.  coal cracker.  lived by the ocean for several years.  i can't describe what that felt like, but i know that every time i was at the beach or just within sight of the water i had this change wash over me.  not bad, not good, just different.  i'm very solitary by the waters.  seems to drive my thoughts inward, where i chase after them.  i think it is, oddly enough, like learning about the depths of our universe or galaxy.  i read Astronomy, New Scientist, and a few other sites several times a week if not every day. it shows me God's Hand in a way that i can only observe.  with the ocean, i can touch and feel, of course.  but through all of it i am silenced by awe.  there is nothing man-made about it.  an airplane is just a machine created when someone finally figured out propulsion and lift.  an engine is nothing more than feeding and combusting fuel to create the movement more regular and quick than could be done by a hand crank.  

but the ocean is different.  my time was at the pacific ocean.  go to santa cruz, cal, and travel 30 minutes north or south on us route 1.  set out on a boat or ship from that point and you can travel the entire planet.  that breadth never escaped me.  the shallow waters at my ankles were shallow also at someone else's ankles thousands of miles away - whether it was straight west toward japan or circular back to the eastern or southern shores of this country.  the depths in between hold amazing secrets; the person standing on the connected shore has her secrets, too.  being there, water warming my feet, the connection rises.  it fills me, but quietly so.

the second-most recent shore i saw from a distance was the atlantic in nyc.  i glanced a few times.  it felt far away, but my view never ended as i watched the water frame the horizon.  more recently, i felt the winds of the ocean in philadelphia.  i heard the water that time.  it was a trip through history, colonial era.  i saw and touched buildings and things that formed our country, in which my daily professional life shares a legacy.  the waters seemed old to me in spite of the modern tanker moored in nj and seemingly so close.  it felt of wooden ships filled with spices.  aromas passed me as the thought formed and sped away.  i was touching not someone far away in space, but far away in time.

phone is ringing.  time to gather my thoughts and move forward ...

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