Kerry Kaptions

Here's the captions submitted. I'm supposed to pic a winner and relegate the rest to honorable mention? How about they all win ... e me to arrange some time in my garden!!!

j blake:
Slick Willy... Hey, I heard John got a gig on that play Vagina Monologs.
Algore...How do you suppose that happened?
Slick...AAAhh suppose he pulled a few strings.

(Editorial privilege, rewritten slightly – Sensing a loss in November, Kerry preps an audition tape for The Vagina Monologues)

JP:
“I go out with my trusty 12-gauge double-barrel, crawl around on my stomach... That’s hunting.”

Matthew K:
My God, its Tony Randall from Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex !! (Woody Allen movie)

Dorkafork:
"John Kerry emerges from his campaign's state of the art hairdryer. The Kerry campaign uses cutting edge equipment to keep their hair 'natural' and 'carefree'."

Beavereater:
The only job Kerry ever really tried out for was duct cleaner in the Fwench Bastile.

Chris:
Recently elected President John Kerry arrives at the U.N. General Assembly to address that body on his desire to have the U.S. rejoin the community of nations.

Woody Emanuel:
1. John Kerry emerges from his life-support system.
2. "Stephen Hawking was right - there ARE worm holes!"
3. "Teresa, I shoved it, can I come out now?"

Gathered from the net:
"Hey Teresa! Look at me! I'm a bunny rabbit!!"
"By day, a mild-mannered politician. By night, he's...Colonoscopy man!"
"Have the man who just took that picture killed."
"Hey guys, there's no snipe in the spaceship... Guys? Hello?"
"Democrats! Into ramming positions!"
"Kerry's audition for The Blue Man Group was not going well."
"When they backed the elephant up, he began to get nervous. But it wasn't until they brought out the giant bottle of lube that John Kerry truly felt fear."