losing time

stuck in one of those places.  have to leave around 100pm for a doctor's appointment about 90 minutes away.  can't dive into new work ... can't allow myself to let go of the workday ... just losing time.

getting yelled at is funny.  i used to join in.  find the kernel of exaggeration, the nugget presented as fact but which is truly emotion, and proceed to dissect the yeller.  then i transited to "are you done yet?"  now i just shrug and move on.  i think i've absorbed all the yelling i care to for this lifetime.  it must be very frustrating for those that yell. i must have purged from my neocortex the last time i yelled.  just doesn't seem necessary to raise my voice. besides the aforementioned participation, there was a time i used to enjoy the game of being yelled at - the fire in someone else's eyes - the supplication in my demeanor - the desire to make it right at any cost. i would do anything asked.  anything.  without the slightest hesitation.  those days have passed.

here you go:

if you can't dwell there, you can kiss my ass.

wanted to write more.  something, i don't know.  but gotta run.  bfn.