Wednesday, April 7, 2004

Teddy for veep?

I just can't ignore this gut feeling. It is wrong on so many levels. So depraved, so guttural, so against every political rationale ... that it might just be brilliant.

Sen. Ted Kennedy (D-MA) for Vice President.

Kerry has the "most liberal" senator label based on his voting record. How benign. Cute in a Massachusetts way. Teddy invented it. He owns liberal. His entire life oozes liberalness like he oozes sweat on stage.

I remember a bumper sticker from the 1970s - "More people have died in Ted Kennedy's car than in nuclear power plant accidents." Wouldn't it be great to have those discussions again?

Kerry needs some serious help. He needs to wear who he is on his chest and thump it constantly. "I'm rich, I married it, I'm liberal. You got a problem with that?"

Who better than Teddy - the ultimate enabler? A complete lush in his personal and public life. No apologies. How many times has he said, "Get out of my way," "make yourself useful - get me a drink," and "poor people suck"?

Teddy can bring the liberals out to vote like ants on a sidewalk lollipop. People will register to vote across generations - graveyards will be popular, genealogy resources will be at a premium as names are added to voting roles. Our population will swell to 400 million virtually overnight. A W campaign cash advantage? "Hey, you, get me my check book." A festive time akin to Chinese New Year's Parade in San Francisco will ring across the liberal land as they line up to vote - then vote again and again.

Yes, only Teddy can bring this excitement to the Kerry campaign. Can I be the only one suggesting it?

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