Dishwater coagulates on pretzels; day saved by Reynolds Wrap, a gun, targeted adverts, and a pirate

My worst fears realized. They got in three outs in NY and the rains came again. I can’t even bear to check the Doppler. I watched a Mets game. Cute, but not real baseball. The Orioles are blacked out; probably for the best. I feel so deeply betrayed by the low pressure system hanging close to the coast. I cling to the belief that it plans only a delay until later this evening. I’m not sure what I’ll do if the game is postponed.

Fresh blood at room temperature will coagulate – that is, the clear serum separate from the red cells – after about 15 to 20 minutes. So if you move a body after that event, the smear will be of the component parts. You cannot thereafter claim without fear of contradiction that you moved the body immediately after the blood-letting incident. Clear smears prove prior coagulation. Good rule. Court TV.

Wal-Mart spends $578MM on advertising each year, and now is going to focus its spending through differing ad agencies dedicated along racial lines – African American/urban, Asian and Hispanic accounts. These groups collectively represent about 20% of the US population, but a much larger amount – almost 55% – of the people in poverty in this country. A lot of people don’t like Wal-Mart, but at least they are honest.

News you can’t really use: The product with the strongest brand recognition in the United States is Reynolds Wrap. The top 10 were Ziploc food bags (No.2), Hershey's candy bars (No. 3), Kleenex tissues from Kimberly-Clark Corp. (No. 4), Clorox Bleach (No. 5), WD-40 lubricant (No. 6), Heinz ketchup (No. 7), Ziploc containers (No. 8), Windex (No. 9), and Campbell's soup (No. 10).

Money can’t buy you love: Budweiser spends $40MM to be the exclusive beer of the World Cup. The Germans call it dishwater. A rival beer company gives away free pants – and the ticket guys require 1,000 Dutch fans to remove the orange logo pants before entering the stadium. “Ambush advertising” is in violation of the need to protect Bud’s investment. How utterly pathetic. No wonder soccer fans riot so often – you’d act out, too, if you had to watch the game in your underwear drinking bull piss, er, dishwater. My German and Dutch brethren, I stand with you – Budweiser sucks.

Feel like a recipe? Me, too! Let’s make some Pretzels. Thanks to the Snake River Brewing Co.

Prep Time: 25 minutes
Inactive Prep Time: 1 hour 10 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes
Yield: 4 to 6 servings

2 tablespoons yeast
2 cups warm water
6 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
1/4 cup honey
3 eggs, beaten
Honey Butter Mix, recipe follows
Kosher salt, for sprinkling

Preheat oven to 425 degrees F.

In a large bowl, combine the yeast and warm water. Add the flour, salt, sugar, honey, and eggs. Mix thoroughly for about 10 minutes. Let the dough rise about 10 to 15 minutes. Divide the dough into 4-ounce portions and shape into pretzels. Place on a greased cookie sheet and let rise for 1 hour. Brush with Honey Butter Mix and sprinkle with kosher salt. Bake for 20 minutes.

Honey Butter Mix:

1/2 cup melted butter
1/4 cup honey

In a small bowl combine melted butter and honey.

Beer, pretzels … baseball … oh no! the Yankee game is postponed! Time for a gun commercial.

This is a cool site for all kinds of scripts. The URL doesn’t rewrite when you travel through the site, so here is a primer. Along the bottom, select “Film Scripts,” then in yellow in just below the red and green arrows, select “Scripts K-R,” and then grab the slider and move down to “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Click on the film name for either the first draft or final draft of the script (note that both are the first draft!). If you Crtl-A Crtl-C and Crtl-V into Word, it comes to 117 pages.

Enough. Gotta do things.