good eats

I was ten years old when this commercial came out. I thought at the time, and still do now, that it was a catchy tune.



I was contemplating a certain class (perhaps the wrong word) of recipes with my twin. We concluded that “Sciurus carolinensis on Toast Points with a White Sauce” would be such a recipe. Let me try to make up the recipe.

2 Sciurus carolinensis (aka Eastern Grey Squirrel), dead, skinned, and deboned
8 slices Wonderbread
1 cup Mayonnaise
4 ounces recent vintage fortified wine

Cook the deboned squirrel in a cast iron pan with a bit of lard, turning frequently until it begins to look stringy. Remove the meat and place on a newspaper to degrease.

Toast the wonderbread to a light brown, and cut the toasted bread diagonally twice, forming four triangles from each piece.

With a coffee spoon, mix the wine into the mayonnaise to thin it out.

Pull apart the squirrel meat with your fingers, and cut the stringy strips into lengths not exceeding 2 inches.

Arrange three toast points on a plate, place enough meat on them for about half a sandwich, and drip some of the white sauce to cover.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Serves 2 to 8 depending upon girth (of eater, not eatee).

Next week: Perogie Pudding with a Faux Brandy Flambé.

My little girl’s all grown up. I helped empty the clothes dryer, and found a small key. I said, “hey, I thought you outgrew having a diary with a keylock on it.” She said, “yeah, I did, daddy, that key is for a pair of handcuffs.” Oh.