the gloves are off

The crowd is frenzied. They’ve watched their fighter spar for months. He jabs and feints with the greatest ease through prepared texts. Now the first ring time is here. The opponent is booed handily as she enters the ring.

Media says the gloves are off in January 2008.

A bob! A weave! No contact, but doesn’t he look good?!?

The challenger is stepping on her metaphorical dick! She can’t organize no communities like the champion! He’s got him some caucus mojo!

Media says the gloves are off in March 2008.

He’s moving in that ring! Dang, he can read a teleprompter like nobody done before. No contact with his opponent, but he sure can talk.

The challenger looks weary! Says she’s dodging bullets on some runway years ago.

She’s down! The challenger is down! Yeah, ok, she tripped over her own feet, but she’s down!

The champion raises his arms in victory! Didn’t even break a sweat! He should have, though – the challenger wiped him up by 40 points in West Virginia in a late round. It just wasn’t enough.

The amateur days are over. The champion takes a victory lap in Europe. They love him! They’re not quite sure why, but they do!

Back in reality, the champion enters the ring. The opponent this time is a wily old coot that knows the ring like no other.

The champion just looks at him. No teleprompter, therefore no words.

The media is frenzied!

Media says the gloves are off in July 2008.

The early rounds do not go well. The champion looks dazed. He starts to talk without his teleprompter! He’s stammering!

What’s this? The opponent brings a girl to ringside! The champion looks dazed!

The media eggs him on – go, Champ! GO CHAMP!

Media says the gloves are in August 2008.

The champion is on his knees. He’s hurting badly. He’s taking cheap shots. Nothing is working. He’s staring at the girl and can’t stop talking about her.

He’s trying to focus but can’t get a grip. Now the press is just watching, seeing how much blood will be on the canvas before the champion drops.

The call for action comes closer.

Obama staff says the gloves are off in September 2008.

And so it goes on. The champion feints, bobs, and weaves. Everyone watching now realizes that that is all he can do.

One member of media leans over to another. “I think the gloves he’s taken off are opera gloves.”