You get what you pay for? If only.

Running a presidential campaign is expensive. It requires a lot of donations. One would think you’d get a good product in return for such an investment. If only. Quality people come from quality families. History shows us the putrid DNA circles surrounding democrat first families. Consider Billy Carter, Hugh Rodham, Roger Clinton, and an ever-enlarging subset of The Entire Obama Family.

So what's the point in ripping family? Are we our brother's keeper? In some degree, yes, we are. Precisely that. Further, to turn a phrase, of all times to observe this, we are learning very deeply that the ACORN doesn't fall far from the tree.

Billy Carter was the brother of President Jimmy Carter (D-GA). He exited Air Force One and promptly urinated on the runway – in full view of the press and dignitaries. A man’s gotta go when a man’s gotta go. OK, so he’s white trash. Was that all? Just an ill-timed tinkle? If only.

The dude registered as a foreign agent for Libya, and accepted a $220,000 “loan” from Mu'ammar al-Gadhafi. He was setting up deals to buy Libyan oil and presenting himself as a person of influence in Washington (his brother, you see, was the President of the United States).

The link above ends on a funny note: “The episode damaged the president for only a short time.” A “short time”? Yeah, right in the middle of the 1980 re-election campaign, which history tells us was won by the Republican.

Hugh Rodman, Hillary’s brother, perhaps most egregious act was selling (and getting) presidential pardons for a total of $400,000. But was that all? If only.

True to sibling-form, he teamed up with somebody to buy hazelnuts. $188 million worth. Yeow. What’s the problem with a few nuts? Seems his business partner was the chief political rival of the president of Georgia (yeah, that country the New USSR just invaded). Talk about dabbling in foreign affairs …

Roger Clinton, half-brother to Bill Clinton, pled guilty to conspiracy to distribute cocaine, did a year in the late 1980s, and was pardoned by Clinton in 2001. He celebrated his pardon with a DUI, Reckless Driving, and Disturbing the Peace. Can’t you hear the echo “Don’t you know who I am?”

It would sure be nice if Roger stopped there, but he didn't. He took $50,000 from the Gambino Crime Family. He was involved in a scheme to get an under-the-table interest in Venezuelan coal mines. He tried to use his great name to kick open import/export doors in China. Just a scheming loser, it seems.

And that brings us to Obama. What highlights can accurately reflect his family?

CNN opens a story about his half-brother George with “We found Barack Obama's half-brother living in a Nairobi slum.” Is this a problem? Well, for a wealthy American making over a million dollars a year to let his brother with whom he met at least twice remain in a slum, to not help him financially yet merely propose legislation to solve the “global poverty” problem is rather weak. Weak? Insulting is more accurate.

Another half-brother, Mark Ndesandjo, lives in China. When the Chinese government checked him out, they said this: “Worldnexus [Mark’s business] is not registered to conduct business in Shenzhen and officials at the city’s commercial administration bureau said this raised potential issues of taxation and compliance with the law by its customers.”

And now we learn of Aunti Zeituni, that prized aunt from the book Ayers wrote. The illegal alien with an active deportation order. The one the campaign told to lie low until after the election. The one living in poverty in Boston. The one that illegally contributed to his campaign. The one he has done nothing to help financially or with her citizenship. Yeah, that Aunt Zeitini.

Seems like a bunch of class acts. Let’s break out the Billy Beer!