Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Zoo News – Book-burning Nazi Lesbians Man our Ports; Yoko as WMD.

What’s this world coming to? An elementary teacher, with a few Christian record albums to her credit, finds at the school a video with the opera Faust on it, shows a few minutes to her students, and all of a sudden she’s a lesbian. Go figure. I thought you had to get an operation or stop brushing your teeth to become one. Just show an opera? Learn something new everyday.

Here’s a good synopsis of the opera. I guess I can see the “devil worshipper” tag they pinned on the elementary teacher – I mean, if you show any interest at all in the devil, you must be worshipping him (I wonder how they feel about Jesus, seeing He is the primary source of our Biblical information on Hell and what’s-his-name-with-the-red-suit-and-horns).

But I still am struggling with this lesbian tag. Think, think, think … ah, I got it! Follow me on this. She’s a chick, right? You can’t be a lesbian unless you’re a chick. She gives voice lessons and she’s a little overweight. See the pic in the article? Uh? Are we on to something here? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Nod’s as a good as a wink to a blind horse. Know what I mean, know what I mean? Say no more, say no more. I bet some doofus came on to her and she refused! That’s it! Single girl. Little overweight. Needy. Refused Mr. Doofus? Gotta be a lesbian. Devil-worshipping lesbian! Maybe that’s why Monsieur Doofus has been scratching and itching lately – devil powder cast from afar!

Bennett, Colorado. Where men are men, ships are made of wood, and sheep are scared. How pathetic.

A United Nations guard put a swastika on a log sheet that was later viewed by an Israeli guard. The UN doofus (today’s favorite word) got a letter of reprimand and sensitivity training. If only the training was conducted by the State of Israel in one of its interrogation rooms. I guess the Nazis never quite left the UN after Kurt Wilhelm’s tenure as Secretary General. Wouldn’t it be fun to take the anti-Semitic crowd and let them get a mass orientation to sensitivity at a camp in Germany for, say, three years? The camp could teach them vocational skills in machine shops, how to shower and sleep in groups, and how to lose weight on negative-calorie diets. It would be enlightening.

Here’s a claim that same-sex marriage in Sweden leads to demands for gender-neutral, multi-partner relationships. I’ve got enough trouble finding a moral basis for James and Robert to be married, without throwing another guy and maybe two women into the mix. Why fiddle with the details? Let’s all get married. Every one of us. One marriage. We’ll stay at my place; it’s got a guest room. Bring your pets and extra batteries. It’s going to be a long night.

You would think that that funny little guy running North Korea (who, btw, is shorter than Prince, if you can believe that) were going to run the Federal Reserve the way the dems are arguing about the Arabs running some of our ports. But here is some sanity on the topic. First, we didn’t go offering anything to anybody. Our ports are managed by a British firm. That firm is being bought out by an Arab firm. We are allowing the novation of the port-management contracts to the new owners. No big deal.

Second, it is just a topic ripe for political posturing. Common words over the last few years – our ports are vulnerable. “Look at all the closed containers coming in. It’s a wonder nothing has happened yet.” Have any change proposed by W in how things are handled and the junk-yard dems will scream and holler just to position themselves for what they see as the inevitable breach of security. They are positioning themselves to capitalize on failure. Sedition. Hang ‘em all and let God sort them.

Um, excuse me, um, Mr. Legacy Media Man, would you be so kind as to read this? It seems that W is a patient man. He’s let the card game unfold on its timeframe, not the emotional clock of the players. It seems that Saddam kept great records!

An excerpt from the article reads so well: “In Iraq's case, there were so many documents and records that even now only a small fraction have been translated and analyzed.

“Among them are 12 hours of conversations from the early 1990s through 2000 between Hussein and his top advisers. They reveal, among other things, how Iraq was working on an advanced method of enriching uranium, how Iraq was conspiring to deceive U.N. inspectors regarding weapons of mass destruction and how these weapons might be used against the U.S.”

The article has no by-line, but I think the author writes very clearly. Don’t you?

W was right. WMD stockpiles. Nigerian uranium. Deceiving Scott Ritter (horrors!). How much do we wager that the Legacy Media will do nothing with this story until it is proved twenty ways from Sunday? Kinda sorta inconsistent with them running with other stories that cast W in a bad light based solely on some drunk in Soho, eh? And they wonder why we point and laugh at them when they get hurt.

The title of this story caught my attention – “Ono hits 100th goal of Zico reign.” Frankly, I thought Yoko was back in the news. Maybe she transcended primal scream and found some guru named Zico and had reached some Nirvana plane at the 100th something or other. I guess I was thinking about her because her birthday was the other day (is she 84 or something?) and that wisecrack she made about Paul’s songs being simple rhymes. Funny coming from a woman who wrote Don't stick your finger in my pie; You know I'll see through your jive and Yes, I'm so pretty; You're so dizzy; And we're so happy every day; Let's make a wish; And let it come true for us; Tra, la, la, la, la. Makes Maxwell’s Silver Hammer seem deep.

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