Monday, February 20, 2006

Zoo News - Gay Iraqi Pullout

This is just too good to pass up. In an article partially entitled, “’Brokeback’ riding high,” we learn that Jake Gyllenhaal won best supporting actor for playing Jack Twist, one of two cowpokes who fall in love in Wyoming. I thought that in this sense, “cowpoke” was a verb. (Article)

Also, now that they managed this movie through as few theatres as they could, managing the media up to Oscar nomination time, now it is set free to flounder. And floundering it is. Look at the theatre counts to start – 5, 8, 69. Revenue managed up by limiting access to carefully selected markets (wanna guess the criteria?). A week before Oscars – late January – it makes its big move … and descends like a 747 Heavy making an approach at JFK. Just over $200 per screen – that’s about 25 people, maybe 30? Big Momma’s House 2 is going to bring in more money. Johnny Cash has buried the movie. Stop acting like we care. The people that have seen the movie give it a “B.” It’s about gay cowboys, for god’s sake. Christian’s so no, Muslims say no, the bar crowd says no (at least the bars I frequent). Who’s left? John Kerry supporters? Obviously not all of them. Onward.

This seems a little extreme. Right-wing British historian David Irving was convicted in Austria on Monday of denying the Holocaust - a crime in this country once run by the Nazis - and was sentenced to three years in prison.

Irving, 67, who had pleaded guilty and insisted during his one-day trial that he had a change of heart and now acknowledged the Nazis' World War II slaughter of 6 million Jews, had faced up to 10 years behind bars for the offense.

I never doubted the Holocaust. Why should I? Read the Bible. The Jews have been kicked around forever. Doubt the Bible? Then explain to me how Israel came back into existence, how the Jews stayed a unified people through centuries of not having a country. My great uncle (after whom I was named) was in the medical corps and was first on scene at a camp.

If we are going to call the Muslims a little cranky for the Toon Riots, maybe we should allow free speech here, too? The foundation for free speech is to be able to speak your opinion; we don’t have to listen to you – but you can speak.

One more step: Iran and China have been discussing a major energy deal that would involve the swap of oil for technology.

Western diplomatic sources said the two countries have been examining an agreement that would make Iran the leading oil supplier to China. The sources said the long-term deal was valued at $100 billion.

We mentioned the evolving relationship between Iran and China yesterday. I wonder if Taiwan and Israel are now going to get their knickers in a bunch.

After months of trying unsuccessfully to develop a common message on the war in Iraq, Democratic Party leaders are beginning to coalesce around a broad plan to begin a quick withdrawal of US troops and install them elsewhere in the region, where they could respond to emergencies in Iraq and help fight terrorism in other countries.

The concept, dubbed ''strategic redeployment," is outlined in a slim, nine-page report coauthored by a former Reagan administration assistant Defense secretary, Lawrence J. Korb, in the fall. It sets a goal of a phased troop withdrawal that would take nearly all US troops out of Iraq by the end of 2007, although many Democrats disagree on whether troop draw-downs should be tied to a timeline.

These people bounce around a room with their pants at their ankles until some idea comes up that helps them form a daisy chain, and then they merrily bounce in unison until they fall over the cliff like a bunch of lemmings. No wonder they lose elections.

Guys, listen up! Pull that thing outta the guy in front of you. Pull your pants up. Sit down. We leave Iraq when the job is done. Our strategic presence is going to be inside Iraq – not close by in Kuwait. Maybe we’ll do both. But leave Iraq? Think it through, ladies. Broken window syndrome. A little lawlessness becomes a lot of lawlessness. Remember? Move to another country and respond only to “emergencies” and pretty soon we are trying to define “emergencies.”

I can’t believe how shallow your analysis can be sometimes. You people just float this to see if the public bites, right? I mean, you don’t actually think it’s a good idea, do you?

Oh boy, here we go again: Britain's largest Hindu group launched a campaign on Monday targeting a major Hollywood studio over a French comedy film which, it alleges, mocks a revered Hindu god.

In a statement, the Hindu Forum of Britain said Les Bronzes 3: Amis Pour La Vie shows the main characters swearing, laughing and tearing up images of Lord Shiva.

Come on, guys, you got like 14 of these gods or deities or whatever you call them.

Hey, if we can have the image of John Wayne desecrated by a movie about gay cowboys, you can have one of your gods be on the receiving end of a few jokes. Ever see Life of Brian? Did you laugh? See what I mean? Lighten up. Always look at the bright side of life.

You people out there need to relax. Nobody really cares what you think or what is important to you. If Christianity does it for you (as it does for me), you are free to reject it and burn in hell for all eternity. If you think I am going to relive life over and over again until I get it right, as Hindus and other believe, then I guess I am already in hell. If you think I am an infidel because I think PBUH suggests a blue hat with horns on the sides and an erotic cartoon featuring Fred Flintstone in a daisy chain, then so be it.

But don’t go killing people over your religious beliefs. Houses are tough enough to come by – don’t destroy someone’s home because they think your fourteen gods are fragments from an LSD holiday. Soon enough, in the longer scheme of things, we will all die a natural death and then we’ll see what is on the other side. If it is just a rebirth, then I hope you all do better the next time around. If it is 72 virgins, then put on your blue hat and party. If it is Heaven or waiting for the judgment day from afar, then let’s hope you’re on my side of those pearly gates.

Between now and then, relax. Have a cup of tea. Meditate. Hum or whatever you do with your legs all bunched up in a knot. Why do you have to worry about revenge? If your god does exist and you are right, then he (or she) can handle retribution so much better than you anyway.

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