Wednesday, April 5, 2006

Unions carry a big stick and hit pregnant women with it

First, there was the tree behind which you stood; then a hole in the ground surrounded by a small building within which you sat; next came the throne (sometimes literally); and finally, the height of sophistication via the urinal!

The problem? Your average 975-foot tall office building consumes 1.6 million gallons of water a year flushing away urine! What’s a building owner to do? Why, rely upon the old-fashioned trap design for a waterless urinal!

Unless, of course, you’re a loser union that needs to stay in yesterday’s technology to earn a living. Oh well, just look at how well the unions have helped to co-manage the American automobile industry and it isn’t a wonder that we’ll be pissing into water cans come 2025.

Speaking of mismanagement and old technology, this nuke plant lost its keys! Keys? I thought they used retina scans or breathalyzers or something beyond picking with a bobby pin and paper clip. Must be security brought to you by the union label!

So what to do when the day on the job site is done? Go to a baby shower, drink some beers, bring a gun and a big stick, watch your ex-girlfriend feed your 5 year-old son some alcohol, and pick a fight with her new boyfriend! Oh wait! Whack the pregnant chick, too!

Buy, buy, buy the union label!
Give them even more of your wages!
Why keep any the money you earn?
Keep corporate America in cages!

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