blues news

I love stories that let me know that I am not so alone in doing pathetically stupid things in this world. To wit …

Zimbabwe’s Mugabi (sounds like a stew of some kind) is going to nationalize 51% of the ownership of most foreign-based companies and … wait for it … give that ownership interest over to the economically disadvantaged, "indigenous" Zimbabweans. That makes a lot of sense. Take companies that are employing your people, propping up your embarrassing economy and give control to the unemployed. Wow. How drunk were you when that thought came to mind?

OK, let’s see whose phallus is bigger while 27 people bob around on a tuna net. the Maltese and Libyan governments argued over who should save them from drowning . Italy finally stepped in and saved them.

Governments silencing opposition does not end the discussion. So, when Venezuela replaced opposition TV with state network all they did was ensure an underground market in adverse communication got stronger. Meatheads.

Under the caption of, “Run for your lives!” comes the headline, “Burma gears up to join axis of evil.” Yeah, right. So they are going to sell their natural resources and buy weapons. OK. To what, shoot yaks? I thought Burma made and exported Gummi Bears or something like that. It will be humorous to see the footage of them standing in a circle during target practice. Maybe Doctors without Borders can be on stand-by.

Speaking of self-delusion, the dude running Pakistan actually said, “Al Qaeda leaders not present in Pak.” Yes, we have looked. They are not here. Nope, nowhere. I can assure you that Al Qaeda is not … zing! … run for cover! Whew, that was close. OK, where was I? Oh, yes, Al Qaeda is not pre … (Anwar, please check my bank account and see that Sheik Osama’s money has been credited) …

Speaking of self-promoting, the Muslims have a problem. Yeah, gross understatement, but one in particular. You see, if you drift down a few posts, they run the top five countries surfing the net for porn, yet the Quran forbids a man being alone with a woman. So, what is left for a good Muslim to do but yank the ankle spanker to 2D women? Seems reasonable. After all, Mohammad (Peanut Butter Unto Ho’s) must have known something they don’t quite get. Think, think, think. There must be a way around this. Got it! If, now follow me, if a brother has a need (ok?) for, um, milk of a special kind, yes, that’s it, special milk and, um, a woman is, (what’s the word?) giving milk – lactating, yes, that’s it – then the man and woman must be alone in order to give such special milk. So, out comes a Fatwa allowing adult breastfeeding. So let it be said, so let it be written, so let it be done. Who are these people?

Speaking of getting your knickers in a bunch, how about the court ruling that held, “Gay Australian pub wins right to ban straights.” What’s the test? Do you have to just say you are gay, or do you have to walk or talk a certain way? Is there a two-encounter minimum? Do you have to fondle the bouncer on the way in?

There is a bit of good news today. Although SCOTUS in 1977 said that the death penalty was disproportionate to the crime of raping an adult (the opinion being that of nine men with no relevant experience), the question of death for raping a child was still unresolved. Seems we are moving in the right direction. The Louisiana Supreme Court last week upheld the death sentence for a pedophile, and the governor of Texas is soon to sign into law legislation to that effect. I am actually a bit torn on the issue. I think the compromise is to give them ten years in the prison general population, then execute them.

Gotta run. Work be at hand …