Top Ten Cool Things about Sharing a Jail Cell with Paris Hilton

Seems that David Lettermen is always fishing for Top Ten entries. If he uses yours, you get a shirt!

This week's topic is, "Top Ten Cool Things about Sharing a Jail Cell with Paris Hilton."

Here are my entries:

10. She pays you not to have sex with her.

9. She brings in a few illegals from the local Hilton Hotel cleaning staff to make up your cell each morning.

8. Ain't nothing better than having a cellie whose sh--t don't stink!

7. When she talks, she, um, like, kinda sorta, um, you know, she like, um, says nothing.

6. Since she refuses to wear natural fibers, I get a double allotment of underwear from the prison canteen this month!

5. She promised me my own island after parole, and I promised her I would never contact her for any reason or no reason at all.

4. I get 24/7 fashion and make-up advice! You see, I have combination skin …

3. I get to bring my autograph book to visitor’s day.

2. All of a sudden I have something I can share with everyone else on the block.

1. She already knows how to have sex in confined spaces.