eggs are gonna kill me

Here’s a good fact. Not quite sure what to do with it yet, but it’s a good fact. To wit, “Cornell University professor Kavous Keshavarz, poultry czar states that an egg initially moves through the chicken's oviduct small end first. When it reaches the uterus, however, it hardens (that is, the shell calcifies), rotates 180 degrees, and makes the rest of the trip big end first. This may sound like doing it the hard way, but actually it's the most efficient way to push the egg. When the muscles of the chicken's uterine and vaginal walls squeeze the egg's small (i.e., back) end, it squirts forward and out into the cold cruel world.”

If you haven’t noticed, I am bored to tears … I am writing about eggs, for god’s sake.

Let’s go to class, shall we? An often-misunderstood portion of the egg is the
chalazae cords. These thick, twisted strands of egg white anchor the yolk in place. They are neither imperfections nor embryos. The more prominent the chalazae, the fresher the egg. Chalazae do not interfere with cooking or with whipping egg whites.

I didn’t know that, did you?

Just shoot me. Writing about eggs?! WTF?

Want some fun facts?

No.

A hen requires 24 to 26 hours to produce an egg. Thirty minutes later, she starts all over again.

The egg shell may have as many as 17,000 tiny pores over its surface. Through them, the egg can absorb flavors and odors. Storing them in their cartons helps keep them fresh.

Eggs age more in one day at room temperature than in one week in the refrigerator.

Stop! You’re killing me!

About 240 million laying hens produce approximately 5.5 billion dozen eggs per year in the United States.

White shelled eggs are produced by hens with white feathers and ear lobes. Brown shelled eggs are produced by hens with red feathers and red ear lobes.

To tell if an egg is raw or hard-cooked, spin it! If the egg spins easily, it is hard-cooked but if it wobbles, it is raw.

I’m begging you! STOP!

If an egg is accidentally dropped on the floor, sprinkle it heavily with salt for easy clean up.

Egg yolks are one of the few foods that naturally contain Vitamin D.

Yolk color depends on the diet of the hen. Natural yellow-orange substances such as marigold petals may be added to light-colored feeds to enhance colors. Artificial color additives are not permitted.

That’s it! One more and …

Occasionally, a hen will produce double-yolked eggs throughout her egg-laying career. It is rare, but not unusual, for a young hen to produce an egg with no yolk at all.

I’m gonna go clean my gun.