Friday, February 8, 2008

politics simplified a bit more

Romney is brilliant.

How, pray tell, does one drop out of race after scoring recognition as the only conservative worth anything in the race and then get labeled such an accolade as “brilliant”? Is this similar to a sportscaster’s use of the word when describing some otherwise fast-food-counter-boy’s catch of a football off his head for a 35-yard gain?

What a finely crafted set of interrogatories, my friend! Allow me kindly to elucidate and perhaps broaden your political understanding.

The premise is the old political adage that when your opponent is headed for the cliff, get out of the way.

Let’s marshal some facts …

We all know that Hillary is not made for long-term use. She cannot control her temper, she whines, she cries, she loses her voice, her money sources turn up dirty, her cold shrilly bitch self shines through like an illuminated 40-watt bulb behind so many rotted holes in old cardboard.

“What to do?” a girl asks herself in such a predicament. Why, move the primaries up! Bunch them so early that I can spend my way to an early coronation! Brilliant! (Yes, this is the sportscaster use of the term.)

But not everyone in Liberal Mecca agreed with her plan, and Michigan and Florida were stripped of their delegates. “No big loss,” Humungo Thighs mused, “I won’t need them!” But alas, it seems that she does … but I am getting ahead of myself!

We all know that the Clinton stock-in-trade is personal attacks. BJ Clinton was dispatched to South Carolina. Ut oh! Too bad, BJ, looks like ad hominine attacks are, shall we say, so 1990s, so passé.

So the Pig in a Pantsuit (hereafter, PIAPS) did not clean up on Super Tuesday. In fact, the deepest review of numbers shows she got her electoral clock cleaned. She is descending faster than Howard Dean after the yell in Iowa 2000. Can I get a YEEE HAAW?

The money game is also causing PIAPS quite the concern. Seems Obama is raising a million dollars a day. Every day. PIAPS is writing her own checks, and had the typical gall to suggest that her staff was working without pay – typical Clinton, “they offered. They said you [PIAPS] are doing your part, so we are going to do ours.” The statement hung out there for a news cycle, until it was confirmed that NO ONE went without even a single paycheck. White trash.

Oh, before I forget, since she was the only name on the ballot in Michigan and Obama upheld his pledge to the party to not campaign there, WT PIAPS won both contests – and promptly said that those states should have their delegates reinstated so as not to disenfranchise them. The request fell flat like an Uncle Buck pancake.

So now, it seems that she is in for a long fight. Obama has money and appeal. He is the only fresh face out there. WT PIAPS is old guard. Delegates are even. Obama owns the short-term momentum. It is lining up as a fight to the convention, just two months before the election.

Romney views all of this. He realized he was the only real threat to McCain. “Why did that piece of dirt from Arkansas/Illinois/New York/Your State Here want such an early Super Tuesday? Because with no incumbent, not even a seated VP running, the pubs would clearly fight it out. She could begin the national campaign in February, while we are still trashing each other until August. She could have a shadow government in place for months!”

Brilliant analysis! “Quiet, I’m thinking,” he says. “Sorry,” I intone. “So, now there are a set of facts clearly established on the table. Obama is in it for the long haul. He has a very real chance of getting the nomination. That gives him at the very least lifelong name recognition. He will be the face of a new generation financed on the presidential campaign fund. There is no way he is getting out. That ties up the dems through August. So I have to free up the pubs. Use WT’s own logic against her.”

Stunningly brilliant! In a twist to the old adage, instead of getting out of his opponent’s way – and be clear that the dems are the opponents – he took a quick side step, and then pushed her over the edge.

Pub VP? Thompson. Better be. Right now, if it is McCain v. Obama, I stay home. If it is McCain v. WT PIAPS, I vote. Only the pub VP will get me out in an Obama run. Ever see that jaw of McCain’s? What is that? He better have that looked at. Might be cancerous.

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