Being a super hero is hard. I got lots of responsibilities. I’ve tried all sorts of different things to hide my true identity. This is a picture of me in law school:
But law school isn’t easy either! I read a lot, but I couldn’t write anything. Never leave an evidence trail! I had lots of friends. Here’s my law-school study group:
But it wasn’t all work! Sometimes we had parties! I went as a pirate:
When I got out of law school, I walked the streets looking for housing-code violations. It was hard work! Check this out – when I found something like asbestos in an apartment, I went to the landlord and looked at him like this:
When that didn’t work (it usually didn’t) I tried another look:
And when THAT didn’t work, I let the people who would be soon contracting some horrible disease from the asbestos to have their picture taken with me. They look happy about the privilege, don’t they?
But being a sad super hero is no fun! I found a friend that said he had something that would make me happy. He let me take his picture:
It was so weird! I thought he was going to give me a funny book or something. But, no, he gave me this white powder and told me to stuff it in my nose! So I did! And he was right! I was hhhaaapppppyyyy! I loved how everybody looked:
But then one of my friends was hungry, so we went for a drive. Bad move, even for a super hero. Here’s the picture they took of me at the hospital:
Yeah, I was hurting. But it’s ok. I healed up good. Couldn’t say the same for my friend. Here’s what was left of him. Must suck not being a super hero.
Still, I was getting lonely. So one day I went into this office building to use the bathroom. And look what I found!
She wanted to see me be smoooooth, so I complied:
But I needed a new job. This housing-code stuff sucked, even when I was high. I thought real hard about. What would a super hero do? Then it hit me! I was going to be a politician!
One bad part of politics is that I have to lie all the time. I don’t mind lying, but it does something funny to me:
Oh well! I did get to ride my bike!
And here’s me looking smoooooth in my biker outfit.
The funnest thing I got to do so far was go to Hawaii and sit on the beach. Here's me making a sand castle:
And, of course, here's me looking smoooooth:
I think I look smart. Don’t you?
OK! All for now! More later!