Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Aristocrats

Watching Israeli news here and here and here.  I wonder when (never, I know) Hamas will be called out for the animals they are.  Every single one of them should be rounded up and shot.  Make them dig their own graves first.  When they're eliminated like an annoying rash, we should move onto the next peace-loving Muslim terrorist group.  Rinse and repeat.

I was driving yesterday for a short stretch.  I recalled something I saw on TV years ago.  Apparently among stand-up comics - the ones traveling the circuit endlessly - there's this informal thing they do ... they have a punchline to a joke - it's the same exact punchline - and the gig is to create a new joke that leads up to that same punchline.  I can't remember the punchline.  It had something to do with a traveling family I think.  Maybe a circus family.  I heard it from Robin Williams.  Can't find it on the net.  Oh wait, this sounds right:  The joke ends with the agent, shocked and often impressed, asking "And what do you call the act?" The punchline of the joke is then given: "The Aristocrats."

I remember watching some show years and years ago.  I must have been living in California.  Jokes spread like wildfire out there.  The scene on television was panning into a cocktail party.  As the camera moved it picked up snippets of conversation.  A guy in a small group says the punchline to a joke that was just making the Northern California rounds.  Hollywood types are so, um, hip!  They should have magazines full of pictures showing us how they walk down streets and eat at cafes and dress up to walk on red carpets!  I want to know what they eat for breakfast and what I should do when I vote and how I can learn to lose weight and tone my butt buying any product they pimp!  I get so angry when people criticize them just because they're pretty and smart and like gods dwelling among us peasants!  On this note, some of my favorite punchlines:
  • If you mother was still alive, we could've saved the horse and wagon, too.
  • Dress her up like an altar boy.
  • You do it just like daddy.
  • Is this some kind of joke?
  • Don't you think you should pet him first?
UPDATE - Funny ... a reader writes in another punchline:
  • My pants fit like a glove.
Funny.  Trust me.

Oh boy!  I'm stuck in front of a TV as I write ... the Christmas movies are being pimped.  The feel-good experiences that will help me remember the true meaning of Christmas:  Frustrating families, single moms getting back together with (apparently) no-longer deadbeat dads.  What I find humorous is that Hollywood is so removed from real life that they haven't a clue what family and holidays is all about.  They write about it in the same manner I'd write about lions, having only seen them in captivity.

I'm writing in my head a cross-examination of a cop I need to do in January.  I wonder how I can make it clear that the cop is ... whoops!  Can't write that.

Better go ... bye for now.

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