cranky

Like origami? I don’t. Not enough focus. Makes me want to act out. Origami pisses me off. I used to make these printed CD envelopes when I gave music to my twin until I got so fucking angry one time trying to fold it that I took it outside and lit it on fire. I’m amazed the link is still in my favorites. Anyway, if you like origami, this is a well-done site.

Like clowns? You’re sick. You should be locked up. Clowns are scary. People that dress up as clowns should be lined up and shot. I wouldn’t even waste the time to put them in a line. Shoot them right on the tricycle you found them. Here’s your nightmare – you’re welcome – Evil Clown Generator. Do a screen shoot of the final and trim in PhotoShop.

You like to play the piano? I don’t. I got two hands but can only use one at a time. I would be ok if it were a one-handed instrument. What’s up with two scales on one instrument? Seems unfair. I’m into fairness. One scale per instrument. It’s like the vote-early-and-often bullshit the dems do. Anyway, here’s a good source for free sheet music.

Want to see the chronology of all sorts of different mathematics and related stuff? I don’t. In my world, I am content with D.C. (During Clyde), and have no problem with ignoring B.C. (Before Clyde) and A.C. (After Clyde). That is not my narcissistic side talking. Well, ok, it is. But so what? It’s confusing being me all the time! I mean, I certainly am not me all the time, but that’s just a reaction formation. Anyway, here’s a long list of chronologies to fill in the blanks in your knowledge such as, Chronology of Time Measurement Technology, 270BC, Ctesibius builds a popular water clock.

Like Stephen Hawking? Yeah, he’s ok, but he reminds me of that guy from My Left Foot. Scares me. I read Brief History and have an audio book of his autobiography. He’s got a personal website now. Ever hear of Black Holes? Yeah, that’s him. Makes me think of some movie where that Three’s Company guy was playing the devil and said, “You like trees? Those were my idea.”

How bored are you? Here’s a webcam where you can watch paint peel. No shit. Be sure watch it with a bottle of aspirin and an empty glass.

You comfortable? I’m not. This story tells about a sun hurling through space at 1.6 million miles an hour. It’s nine times the size of our sun. Says it happens a lot. That scares the shit out of me. A whole fucking sun screaming through space like some cosmic fastball. WHOOSH! “What the fuck was that?!?” I’m toast. I’ll probably never sleep again.

My colon is asking to void. I have to go.
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cranky

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try banning stupid people instead

I was listening to 101.5 FM out of New Jersey yesterday. The DJ was discussing some list of banned words published by the Department of Defense. I made a note to find the list, but have not been successful. I did find, however, extensive references made to a book by Diane Ravitch called, The Language Police, which is a compilation of terms not allowed in textbooks by the various departments of education around the country. I found two sites, here and here that provide excerpts of her glossary. Just remarkable. To be fair, it seems that Diane was appalled herself – she was not advocating banning these terms, just reporting on it.

Some examples …

Adam and Eve (replace with "Eve and Adam," to demonstrate that males do not take priority over females). Really? Is this like an Affirmative Action thing? Will we someday say that “Eve and Adam” demonstrates that females take priority over males, and then revert to “Adam and Eve” for a period of time? How about “the first two people on Earth, one of each gender.” Ah, but there are writings that suggest Adam had a wife before Eve. She must not have wanted to let him masturbate during her menstrual cycle or something (see a couple of posts below).

Boys' night out (banned as sexist). Really? But it is a real thing. Boys do have a night out. I don’t think you ban a concept – that’s dumb. I suggest you just add a corollary for the female counterpart – “Sausage Run.”

Busybody (banned as sexist, demeaning to older women). I find this interesting. Unlike above, there is no gender reference in the term and, further, the basis for banning the term includes an age reference which is also missing from the term. Do we use “interloper”? Do we say, “that crotchety old bag can’t mind her own business” (substituting the male gender and proper age reference as applicable to the precise situation)?

Courageous (banned as patronizing when referring to a person with disabilities). You must be kidding. Can I use the word to describe a soldier that raced into enemy fire to save his fellow soldiers? It’s not the word, just its application to the handicapped (which I am sure is on the list somewhere)? What do I say – your example of living life to the fullest is like the attributes of a lion? Doesn’t it take “courage” to overcome obstacles?

Dialect (banned as ethnocentric; use sparingly). A “dialect” is a variety of a language that is distinguished from other varieties of the same language by features of phonology, grammar, and vocabulary, and by its use by a group of speakers who are set off from others geographically or socially. “Ethnocentrism” is the belief in the inherent superiority of one's own ethnic group or culture. So you are suggesting that if I refer to someone’s speech as being a dialect, I am inherently declaring my superiority. Do y’all sense an asshat close by? When someone speaks the English language poorly, I do not refer to what they say as being indicative of thie “dialect,” rather I refer to them as “grammar retards.” Use of local phrases like “soda” or “pop,” or “sneakers” or “tennies” is not an indication of intelligence, but region from which a person hails. You people are idjits, and give me adjita.

Drunken, Drunkenness (banned as offensive when referring to Native Americans). OK. Won’t use it for Indians. I’ll reserve it for the Irish.

Egghead (banned as offensive; replace with "intellectual"). What?!? You have to declare this? Did you find a textbook with the term “egghead” in it – or are you just sensitive to the childhood beating you took because of the conical shape of your head?

Fairy (banned because it suggests homosexuality; replace with "elf"). But elves ain’t got wings! Damn. Do I have to write, “winged female elf without the usual bull-dyke stocky build”?

God (banned). See you in Hell, or Hades, or that hoax tossed out there by the intelligent-design idiots of an afterlife in perpetual agony because you’re on fire due to your shitty life.

Founding Fathers, the (banned as sexist; replace with "the Founders" or "the Framers"). But they WERE dudes!

Inspirational (banned as patronizing when referring to a person with disabilities). So I can’t say to the guy with two fingers, no intestines, and only half a face that his subsequent career as one of the most moving writers I have ever read is inspirational? WTF?

Little person (banned as offensive; replace with "person of small stature"). Step right up! 3 for a dollar! Toss the person of small stature through the hoop and win a prize!

Lumberjack (banned as sexist; replace with "woodcutter"). But they ain’t cutting wood – they are cutting trees. Treecutter? Or is that a crack against persons with AIDS?

Middle East (banned as reflecting a Eurocentric world view; replace with "Southwest Asia"; may be acceptable, however, as a historical reference). I have no idea with “Southwest Asia.” Is it anywhere near the Middle East? I’m about ready to puke. Did anybody ask the Arabs if there want to be tossed into a pot with the Asians? Something inside me hears a “how dare you insult [whatever his name is – that guy with the bomb in his towel, PBUH].

Old (banned as an adjective that implies helplessness, dependency, or other negative qualities). Old? You can’t say old? Um, “not young”? “Senior citizen (or resident or person)”? You can’t say “old”? But he IS old! Can’t you smell him? Man, all urine and impacted fecal matter and yeast and ear gunk. Puke!

Paraplegic (banned as offensive; replace with "person with paraplegia"). What is “paraplegia”? Is that like a paraplegic? I don’t want to learn new words – or use three when one will suffice. Is an “amputee” now a “person with an amputation”? A “drunkard” a “person in a perpetual intoxicated state”? A “butler” a “person who butles”?

Polo (banned as elitist). Yeah, thanks, Prince Charles. Hey, ladies, polo is a sport. So you have to ride a horse and usually only rich people play it. Only rich people own race cars – do we ban “race-car owner”? Is “polo shirt” banned, too? I would call it a “golf shirt,” but golf is quite the expensive sport – elitist, too? “What kind of shirt is that?” “Oh, just something I threw together!” “Fairy …”

Satan (banned). Heh, heh, heh. Good luck with that. Let me know how it works out for you. He will become all too real as the flames of Hell lick your ass.

Snowman (banned, replace with "snow person"). They ARE men – by design. You ever put tits on a snowman? Not only is it gay, they fall off! Isn’t that insensitive to women with breast cancer?

Sufferer of cerebral palsy (banned as offensive; replace with "person who has loss of muscle control"). OK, this is stupid. You are telling me that every person in every medical situation that has a loss of muscle control HAS cerebral palsy? I’m a DOCTOR (I.MD), you know. This replacement phrase is factually wrong. What is the problem with you people?

I teach. I read textbooks all the time. I think I may write a lecture about an old, egghead, drunken, little person American Indian playing polo against a bunch of Middle Eastern lumberjacks that suffer from cerebral palsy. They’ll all be tossed from their horses and become paraplegics and will discuss with their cute dialects God and Satan as they make fairy snowmen. It will be an inspirational story of courageousness. Maybe they can have a boys’ night out, all dolled up like Adam and Eve, and chit-chat about our Founding Fathers and the busybodies they encounter.

I’ll write an invitation to the visiting team, “Dear Camel Jockeys …”

Enough.

when can i masturabte?

There are just some things that you just cannot make up. I cut nothing below – full and complete. You have all the links.

J.W. from Canada writes, “As-Salamu `alaykum. I got married four months back. I am a Muslim and try to follow Islam to the best of my ability. During the time of my wife's period (which is usually seven days) I get sexually aroused a lot (she’s had like THREE periods, pal. Get a fricking grip – oh yeah, that’s what you are going to ask. Sorry, got ahead of myself.). I would like to know if, during this time, it is permissible for me to masturbate (smile)? If not, is there any other option?” (There’s the neighbor’s sheep, a mud hole, a rotting tree by a creek bed, your sister.)

Counselor Ahmad Kutty responds:

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (Same to you, pal.)

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, cut to the chase.)

Dear brother in Islam, thank you so much for your concerns about your religion and Allah’s law even in what concerns your sexual life with your wife. (Gotcha. You get paid by the word, buddy? Talk!)

As for your question, it should be clear that masturbation is generally considered forbidden (except for the quite amazing exceptions noted at the end of this post) in Islam since it is deemed to fall under the category of sexual satisfaction outside the framework of marriage (don’t tell me that you’re about to say everything has to be with her, are you? Everything?). However, mutual masturbation between the man and his wife (here we go – so I can’t yank my pud, but she can? Where do I sign up? PBUH) is not haram; rather, it is permissible because it is a part of the enjoyment which Allah has allowed (nice guy, that Allah). Allah Almighty says: “Those who guard their chastity (i.e., private parts from illegal sexual acts). (why is there a period to the left and a capital E to the right? Your God seems to be a grammar retard.) Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) (gotta love the fact subsumed in evidence, eh? It is perfectly fine to have captives and slaves. You people are bizarre.) that their right hands (I’m left handed; when I use my right hand it feels like someone else is doing it – is that ok?) possess,—for them, they are free from blame.” (Al-Mu’minun: 5-6)

In response to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states (oh, the above was like scripture, and now we get the sermon? I’m into it.):

“We are not allowed to engage in sexual intercourse with our wives during their menstrual period (why not? Give me a good reason. Name ONE. That’s why somebody invented soap and water.). However, there is no taboo on gaining sexual satisfaction from them through other ways (tell me more!). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) (double that if he is going to elaborate on “other ways”) was once asked, “What is allowed for a husband from his wife during menstruation?” (Somebody asked him this? Where's that humungo thighed Mrs. Clinton & her Fabulous Question Planters when you need them? This dude is walking around like a fricking prophet and people asked him about banging their wives? You people hate Jews, but, c'mon, they had a bit more decorum with Jesus, right?) He replied, “Everything except sexual intercourse.” (I LOVE this guy – “everything”) Just as there is no taboo on intimate touching, fondling, caressing, et cetera, there is no prohibition on spouses masturbating each other, et cetera. (I think “et cetera” is Muslim for “yadda yadda yadda.” That Mohammed said that?!? That is so funny. The dude is walking around like he’s the Christ and talking about jacking off. So hip! Did he wear headphones and sunglasses? So, we already learned that she can take the yoyo for a walk. You mean I can just say, “This side’s bloody, flip it over”? That’s cool with you? So provided a slave isn’t available, I can just crank her up the ass and you have no problem with that? You people spent too much time in the desert with camels. Trust me on this one. I bet the etymology of “animal husbandry” is a bit further east than Greece or Rome.”)

Although you are not allowed to masturbate yourself, your wife can masturbate you without incurring any sin (You’re repeating yourself. On purpose? For emphasis? OK, ok. I’ll talk to her and said you said so. "Um, jerk me off, PBUH." That's all, right? I say that and we're cool?). So satisfy yourself through halal (lawful) (I thought "halal" was deep fried and served in a pita. Learn something new everyday.) ways; we have sufficiency in what Allah has made halal for us so that we do not need to turn to that which is considered as haram (unlawful).” (I thought "haram" was a bunch of chicks - or as you call them, "captives." Let’s summarize, she can yank it, I can flip her over, I could do a slave, I could kidnap somebody so I have a “captive.” I didn’t see any prohibition on her blowing me – I mean, “everything” is a pretty broad term. I can toe fuck her? Just can’t bang her. Got it. What an amazing religion to discuss such real issues. And you think we are too loose? Tell me, when I clip my toenails, right to left or left to right?)

Excepted, with slight modifications, from: www.muslims.ca

You can also read:

Islamic Ruling on Masturbation. Can I? Short answer: Yes (hunh? I thought you just said, no.), but only if you aren’t married (ah! So stay single and the sheep are safe.), if you think you really need to bang some married girl (so even if I am married, I can do it if that woman over there is driving me to the point of distraction. What an incredible religion you people have.), or if you are releasing sexual tension rather than achieving sexual desire (now, talk about wordsmithing. Tension not desire. Well, I get really tense sometimes – does that work? Hey, I’m tense, I took my Viagra and she’s late from work - yank yank yank. And that’s OK? Listen to me, boys, create a flow chart of your rules. See the spirals and feedbacks? There’s no flow (menstruation aside). Your rules are creating asshats. Settle down. Relax. Masturbate. Don’t be so uptight.).

My Husband Does Not Satisfy Me in Bed: Can I Masturbate? Short answer: No. So what if we Muslim men have short dicks and no sense of foreplay. Deal with it. (Figures. Always the guys with small dicks writing rules telling women to “deal with it.” How about this, bub – pull your own pud, I can’t find it! The coke bottle and tweezers must be in the slave’s room.)

If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path! (Yeah, ok.)

Allah Almighty knows best. (I am speechless.)

Trip Points

I got issues. Funny, eh? Three words that set the tone. Some things are instant piss-me-off-no-matter-what-the-current-mood issues.

Broadcasting political votes. I was on some web site off the Blog Carnivals site. The post was something – forget now. But a few posts down he writes that he just voted in the local city council elections, and then proceeds to name for whom he voted. A friend of mine said once, when asked for whom he voted in a recent presidential election, “One of the beautiful things about America is that not only can we vote for our leaders, but we don’t have to tell anyone for whom we voted.” I thought the statement was elegant.

I think that people that broadcast their votes are idiots. Talk about issues all you want. Make your position on abortion or baby seals or rain forests known all you want. But to consider that some politician, who by definition sells their soul to the highest bidder, is actually an answer is incredibly naïve. They are as complex and contradictory and evolving as any other person. You work on a campaign and have sold your soul, too, then your opinion doesn’t matter.

Vote if you want to, but shut-up about it.

Stupid people that don’t know they are stupid. I cannot fathom these people. The layer that always comes with it – and it is this portion that trips me – is the arrogance. We all have limitations, physical or intellectual or spiritual or whatever. The trick in life is to know your limitations. I cannot deconstruct music. I can’t choose clothes that go together without picturing those garanimal tags. I can figure out a lot of stuff just in my mind, such as numbers, some physics, law. Other things I can conceptualize but cannot execute well until I do it and screw up – the second time is always better with household repairs, car repairs, etc. I get there; it’s just a matter of being patient with myself.

So then you get people who are convinced of their intellectual superiority. They have the world by the balls. Then they do something stupid, and other people are materially changed through their arrogance which is followed by lies. Then you talk to them to try to understand, and they sputter, and lie more. Then the arrogance comes into full bloom like a rancid flower next to a thick green pond. Then the fake supplication. Then the continued fake supplication – and words mean nothing, only actions. So watch carefully, and you see the continued stupidity. And what pisses me off (yes, I am referring to a very specific situation in my life right now) is the continued collateral damage of which the person is too stupid to see. Telling them is pointless. I work incredibly hard not to turn full barrel and leave behind a charred hole. Humorously, the cranially vacant one thinks I already have. It is to laugh ruefully.

Liars. I detest liars on every level. I never forgive (that’s not a problem, is it?) and always filter every subsequent transaction for decades through those putrid waters. Ironically, I act spitefully, lying, too. I dwell in the brackish waters. I never trust again. Never. If you lie to me, then they are no longer any rules. Yes, the foundational lie needs to be fundamental. But once that floor has been compromised, the hole created is as if a claw-foot tub dropped through it from an upper floor, followed by my specious carpentry skills. The hole is, at best, repaired with a jumble of boards, overlapping haphazardly with darkness appearing through the many gaps. One cannot walk past the hole without consciously avoiding the space or tripping over a jutted-out board; to walk on those same boards is folly for now and evermore. I gather information slowly and patiently for years if necessary. I suspect the worst in every transaction, particularly when older paths are tread again. It is, perhaps, a deep character flaw in me. It is, equally, something I will never devote even a micron of effort to resolve. Never lie to me. I will never forgive you. Not in the ensuing hours, days, or decades. Until the day I die, I will never believe you, and will always assume the very worst in you. Always and, as they say, in all ways. The seed of distrust spawns a seed of hate. Regardless of subsequent interactions, those seeds are cherished and nurtured by me. Always and in all ways. It will never change, and I will gladly die a lonely and miserable death to maintain my own variant of arrogance. It requires no effort on my part – that’s the humorous aspect. It simply is as it is, like a drawing with a crooked line: drawings are not changed, merely observed; I am not the artist, just the patron; the artist’s portfolio will always contain that drawing, whether they claim it to be destroyed or not – it was within them at one time, and will always reside as a part of their talent set. Always and in all ways.

Loudmouth anything. Guess what? Illegal aliens are here illegally. They have violated the law the same as a thief. People die in wars. When folks join the military, they do so knowing and accepting the risks in return for remuneration – be it cash in hand, educational benefits, or lifelong healthcare. They are in a war theatre because they offered to go there and were trained to be there. You support the military – as long as they are not doing what they are trained to do? An abortion is either murder or the cessation of the autonomous subdivision of a mass of cells. I have my opinions; you are encouraged to have yours. Mine are informed to the level that is comfortable for me; I hope yours are the same. Mine are not printed on a sign that is carried in public, nor screamed at passersby, nor is my body interfering with the stream of commerce to get my point heard. I do not need your sign, voice, or body telling what your opinion is. I just don’t care. I bailed on news reporting because all they cover are idiots like you. It may be just my concentric world, but I have observed a direct and negative-slope relationship between your {ahem} “forceful” presence and your intelligence. Just – shut – up, and keep your face out of my face, your body off the bridge I am crossing (unless you’re a jumper), and your poor grammar to your home-bound scribblings. Don’t even get me started on actors and actresses that have a proclivity to memorize words written by someone else and to delivery those words with a proper range of affect provided someone is off-camera telling them what to do and, based upon the sharing of copyright royalties, think that somehow they possess opinions worthy of educating the masses. The only reason that they are not complete assholes is because there are obviously a few missing pieces. And this includes rock musicians, too. You made your money in music. We never paid you to tell us what you thought. So now that you don’t need our money any more doesn’t give you the right to use the stage we paid for to voice your opinion. Get out the guitar and perform, monkey boy – the rest is of no interest and just makes you look stupid.

Liars. Did I mention liars? Lemme check … oh yes, I did. Well, double it.

Sportcasters. How many times can they misapply the word “brilliant”? Look, pal, these athletes practice a lot. What they do on the field is muscle memory, with the rare exception of some quarterbacks and pitchers – but even they are mostly muscles remembering previous motions. It is all trained auto-pilot. Brilliant? Ever hear them talk? You associate “brilliance” with that? They make rap stars sound like accountants. I love sports, so I ordinarily mute the telecast and listen to music or silence. The overwhelming majority of athletes would be in prison if they didn’t meet the “physical freak” criteria. Most retired guys sell insurance or cars. Brilliant? C’mon. Just shut up and call the plays as they happen. And the very worst thing these clowns do is point out “celebrities” in the audience. Just frigging shoot me.

The list can go on … gonna bail for now. Probably to be continued …

royalism dick

Not sure if it is ever a good idea to click through on ads, but this was tucked in my gmail sidebar. It’s for ”Handy Spray” – a hand-held bidet. It’s a hose, people, a HOSE! And they want $30 to $60 for it. It’s a hose. A bidet is something the beautiful people use because they can’t deign to wipe their own ass, not unlike that nose freak Mrs. James “The Janitor” Brolin (who, btw, ranks a pic but not not a word – not even his name on Ms. Nostrils’ personal webpage bio. “Um, BS, baby, um, could you, um, maybe mention, um, you know, we’ve been that M-word for almost ten years. Um, maybe you could put my, um, my, um, my name in your bio – you know, just a passing mention, that’s all. Nothing big.” “WHHAAATT!! YOU FUCKING EGOMANIAC!! [TOSSED MING VASE CRASHES INTO HIS HEAD] GO CLEAN THE TOILET!! MAKE SURE THE ROSE PETALS ARE ALL FACE UP. Fucking dammit, just can hire good husbands anymore. What is wrong with the placement agency?”

I can’t believe that I am going to write about what I am about to write about. I am trying to decide whether to wretch or laugh. Ah, what the hell, let’s do it. This is so pathetic. I have to go put on a clean suit. Brb.

OK. Start here. Left side, reads, “Statements. Read the latest comments direct from Barbra.” Oh, God, clean suit bad idea. Vomit contained. Brb.

Click on “Statements” (man, I hate the chewy stuff left over from vomit. What was that? One sec … oh yeah, I had a bagel. OK.) Let’s see we have for “direct from Ba-ba-bar--” (Oh, God, this is bad. brb. … OK. Pasta for lunch. It was whole wheat penne in this fresh tomato sauce. Not bad.) Her first “direct statement” is interesting. Seems she uses the nom de guerre “Bob Herbert” when writing for the NYT. Let’s look for something which she had the masse testiculaire to publish under her own name.

Here we go, Republican Attempt to Steal California’s Votes. Sounds, um, enlarged-scrotum-ish. Let’s dive in.

Her first paragraph as presented: “Karl Rove may have resigned as the President’s chief strategist, but the dirty and secretive tricks that have characterized the Republican Party in recent years are still here to stay. Leading California Republicans are promoting a dishonest initiative that steals electoral votes from California, a democratic state. Republicans attempting to steal votes in a major election? This smells all too familiar.”

Her first paragraph, annotated: “Karl Rove (I read ahead, darlings – KR is not mentioned again. Use of his name is just a ploy to draw in a common audience – emphasis on “common”) may have resigned as the President’s chief strategist (his title was “Senior Advisor.” A campaign has a “strategist.”), but the dirty and secretive tricks that have characterized the Republican Party in recent years are still here to stay (as opposed to the dirty and secretive tricks that have characterized the Democratic Party?). Leading California Republicans are promoting a dishonest initiative that steals (to take and carry away the property of another with the intent to deprive permanently the holder of its possession) electoral votes from (the topic will become a reallocation; California will continue to have them, sweetums) California, a democratic state (as opposed to, the “socialist” state of __? And California is no more democratic than any other state – they are all representative democracies, buttcheeks; we don’t have democracies in America. The closest was the New Hampshire Town Hall system.). Republicans attempting to steal votes in a major election? This smells all too familiar.” (Why does it not surprise me that you would use an olfactory reference?)

Next paragraph, annotated (lost interest in wasting cyber-inches on both versions). “The initiative, crafted by a lawyer for the California Republican Party and member of the group misleadingly called "Californians for Equal Representation,” (as opposed to your several “Farewell Tours”?) proposes to divide (what happened to “steal” and take “from”?) California's electoral votes based on results in each congressional district, rather than award the entire 55 electoral votes to the winner of the statewide popular vote (funny, I haven’t been around politics for a while, but I recall Algore and his ilk proposing this). Proposed for the California ballot in June 2008, where voter turn-out is extremely low (so much for democracy in action), this initiative would essentially give the next Republican presidential candidate as many as 19 additional votes--almost equal to all the electoral votes from Ohio (20) and nearly all from Florida (27 – so that’s the difference between “almost equal” and “nearly all.” I was wondering. So, 2/3s is “nearly all.” OK. Why not Pennsylvania or Illinois, both with 21?)!”

Next: “For many voters, this initiative upon first glance seems logical and fair. (I am so glad that you are here to protect us from what seem logical and fair!) However, in the context of the rest of the country, where large red (oh, so this is a color thing? Since when do democratic principles get determined by current political winds? Sounds kinda unconstitutional.) states in particular (I repeat my last comment, deary, because your lack of commas offsetting the phrase “in particular” denotes its criticality to the sentence – so the issue is that it is a “blue” or “red” state. Got it.) would still award their electoral votes to the candidate who won the popular vote, this ballot initiative is completely imbalanced and undemocratic (Actually, it would more closely resemble a democratic system – one person, one vote. The inherent problem with the approach is that it would render smaller representative democratic states virtually unimportant as their electoral caches would be divided from five to ten down to just two or three at a pop. Politicians would ignore them completely.). There is no way this initiative would create a more fair and balanced voting system in our country, unless it was uniformly adopted by ALL states. (so this system is democratic if adopted everywhere, but not democratic if adopted by California. Can you say, non sequitur?)”

The rest of it (besides her links): “This initiative shines a glaring spotlight on Republican hypocrisy. Republicans want to continue the same winner-take-all system in other big states that they consistently win, like Texas and Indiana (Indiana? Indiana?!? It’s got 11 EVs, boxhead.). However, they want Democrats to share the electoral votes in California, a big blue state with the country’s most electoral votes. Democrats have been carrying California in recent elections. Even if Democrats were to win the state in 2008, Republicans would still get a substantial number of electoral votes under this new law (nearer thy god to thee).

“If passed, this initiative would make a democratic victory in any major election extremely difficult. We can not let the Republican Party pull the wool over our eyes and steal yet another election. (I actually teach Constitutional Law, and understand the attempt by Gore to steal the 2000 election by recounting only three counties – where W said, “count them all and you have a deal.” Gore said, “no.” SCOTUS said, simply, “No, Gore, you cannot compel a localized recounting when the entire state’s EVs are at stake. That steals votes from the uncounted counties” And everyone knows that the entire state was recounted privately and W won it. So where was the theft? You people suck at history.)”

One last “Statement,” wherein she strongly recommends two books: “I would like to strongly recommend these two books by John Nichols:

“The Genius of Impeachment: The Founders' Cure for Royalism Dick: The Man Who is President (Dick Cheney)

“They both address important issues regarding holding our leaders accountable for their actions.” (Verbatim, folks. Complete and unedited. Four words, full colon, six words, full colon, seven words. I shudder to think what “Royalism Dick” is. Sounds bad.)

I can’t do this any more. I have to shower, then hook up the hose and bidet myself.

killing you softly with my words

A favorite word of mine through the years has been, “non-sequitur.” I suspect the hyphen is not correct because it is taken directly from Latin (so “non” is a word rather than a prefix) meaning, “it does not follow.”

Although it is a favorite word (or two-word combination) of mine, I cannot ever remember uttering it in context. Seems to me to be not quite fitting of coal trash to have such a robust lexicon. When I think of such things, I recall leaving the courthouse one day (I had a hearing of some kind in a neighboring county). I walked past a group of lawyers that did not give me, a lawyer from away, even a nod. One was saying to the group, “… not sure, I mean, he couldn’t even propound an appropriate inquiry!” Wasn’t a reference to my courtroom work (I’m a good propounderistarianer), but I thought as I walked by, “… douchebag. They don't give out nickels for big words anymore.”

I use my share of long words, but as one of my graduate students wrote on a course eval, “You use a lot of big words, but you use them all correctly. It’s refreshing.” And, to me, therein lies the issue. Words communicate. The simpler the word, the more likely your message will be communicated. Sometimes longer words are needed – just be sure to know what they mean before you use them.

Little shit drives me nuts: “We are doing this to insure we get it right the first time.” Insure, as to financially underwrite? “That” is limiting; “which” is not. But, to me, misuse at this level is just lazy, and it’s OK to be lazy. We all are in some areas of our lives including, big time, me. However, when people go out of their way to use words they do not understand just to use a big word, then you know they are not trying to communicate, but to impress.

“Impress: to press (a thing) into or on something.” Isn’t that what Charmin is for?

Could we say, in light of the above, that one who uses big words for the very sake of their length and that flushing sound one hears typically from behind a closed interior door in a residential environment is, empirically, the antithesis of a non sequitur? Methinks, without measureable trepidation of the prospect of contradiction, that such is an accurate manner in which to describe the state of affairs. In short, if you do not know the difference between “didactic” and “pedantic” then do not use either.

Naw, not being a dick, just tired of pseudo-intellectuals.

Alright, enough pompous bullshit. Soapbox to the right; me to the left.

Here’s a good story: “In 1386, the tribunal of Falaise sentenced a sow to be mangled and maimed in the head and forelegs, and then to be hanged, for having torn the face and arms of a child and thus caused its death. … As if to make the travesty of justice complete, the sow was dressed in man's clothes and executed on the public square near the city-hall at an expense to the state of ten sous and ten deniers, besides a pair of gloves to the hangman.” – E.P. Evans, The Criminal Prosecution and Capital Punishment of Animals, 1906 This site is full of good stories.

Good rule from my twin: if it wasn’t food a hundred years ago, it isn’t food now.

This sounds good:

Autumn Roasted Vegetable Salad

Ingredients

1 (8 oz.) yam, peeled and diced to 1-inch
1 (6 oz.) granny smith apple, peeled, cored and diced to 1-inch
1 (6 oz.) red onion, diced to 1-inch
2 tbsp. olive oil, split
salt and pepper to taste
2 tsp. balsamic vinegar
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1/2 cup sliced California Ripe Olives
2 cups mixed baby greens
1/4 cup of chopped toasted cashews

Directions

In a large mixing bowl, toss yam, apple and red onion with 1 tablespoon of oil. Season with salt and pepper and scatter on one or two roasting pans in an even layer. Bake in a 450˚F oven for 20 minutes until golden. Remove from heat and allow to cool for 10 minutes. While cooling, whisk remaining oil, vinegar and mustard into mixing bowl. Toss in California Ripe Olives, baby greens and cooled vegetables. Top with cashews and serve. Serves 4. Courtesy of The California Olive Industry.

If you get off on articles that begin, “Almost one billion people throughout tropical and sub-tropical latitudes are infected with hookworms. In the countries affected, hookworm infection is often the major contributor to irondeficiency anemia, a direct consequence of the parasite’s bloodfeeding activities” then you can read the rest here - The bandit, a New DNA Transposon from a Hookworm - Possible Horizontal Genetic Transfer between Host and Parasite. The article is focused on DNA analysis. I can’t bring myself to show a pic of the things, but go for it if you like.

I started reading some articles on why lethal injection is “inhumane,” and then got sidetracked to other issues. Data from Amnesty International: In 2006, 91 per cent of all known executions took place in six countries: China, Iran, Pakistan, Iraq, Sudan and the USA. Based on public reports available, Amnesty International estimated that at least 1,010 people were executed in China during the year, although these figures are only the tip of the iceberg. Credible sources suggest that between 7,500 to 8,000 people were executed in 2006. The official statistics remain a state secret, making monitoring and analysis problematic.

Iran executed 177 people, Pakistan 82, and Iraq and Sudan each at least 65. There were 53 executions in 12 states in the USA.

Um, we set the internal toaster oven to "bake" for 53 people and you’re on our case? Shoo, fly, go away! Shoo!! Seems to me you’ve got more than enough work to do with China. Better go pout at the UN, eh? Further, if the 7:1 to 8:1 holds for China, you gotta know, brother, that is also good for Iran and the Sudan.

And don’t you just the love the opening crack – “91 per cent” in six countries. They are using a base of 1,591 executions. Wouldn’t “88 per cent in five countries” sound better? Narrow the culprits to just FIVE! Ah, but that would leave the US off the list.

How’s this for another twist? In point 11 not quite half way down: China reports executing about the same number of people in 2006 that the United States has executed for the past 30 years. That is Amnesty’s data, but not the way they want us to view it.

Here’s another set of data, different source, same year: China, at least 5,000 (approximately 8,000 according to Liu Renwen, Professor of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences); Iran, at least 215; Pakistan, 82; Iraq, at least 65; Sudan, at least 65; and United States, 53.

China’s number essential the same – a guess as to the total. Iran creeps up over 20%, and joins Iraq and the Sudan with the qualifier, “at least.” Seems the US role is shrinking by the article.

Want an observation? Where is Russia in all this? Ah, they have a moratorium on the death penalty. Why? Last paragraph of the link – Russia committed itself to scrapping the death penalty in 1997, when it signed a protocol to the European Convention on Human Rights. Money. Follow the money. It is routed in trade with the EU. Remember Russia in the 1990's? They were in economic freefall.

Butt hay, who needs the death penalty when you can murder your undesirables? But, Clyde! How can you say that! It, it, it’s so cold! Blow me – here’s the data:

Russia murders per 100,000 population: 201 (#5 on the hit parade)
US murders per 100,000 population: 42 (#24)
Weighted average for the world: 100

Gee, maybe there’s something to the theory.

Where did I get started on this tangent? Oh yeah, the “inhumane” nature of lethal injection. Here’s the scientific article saying it’s bad. Read it all, then come back and read this:

I grabbed this at random from Dead Man Eating:

SOUTH DAKOTA LAST MEAL
ELIJAH PAGE
July 11, 2007

Last Meal: Page had a final meal request of steak with A-1 sauce, jalapeno poppers with cream sauce, onion rings, and a salad with cherry tomatoes, ham chunks, shredded cheese, bacon bits, and blue cheese and ranch dressing. He wanted lemon iced tea and coffee to drink and ice cream for dessert.

The skinny: Page, 25, was executed for the torturing and killing a 19-year-old man following a robbery.

It was South Dakota's first execution in 60 years.

More skinny: Page and two other young men were convicted of killing a 19-year old "friend," near the town of Spearfish in the rural west of South Dakota.

The victim was kidnapped at gunpoint, then tortured for almost 3 hours before his death. He was forced to drink acid, repeatedly kicked and beaten, stabbed in the head and torso, and forced to remove his clothing in an icy creek.

His body was not found until a month later.

Upon his arrest in Texas, Page admitted his involvement in the murder. Page later pled guilty, received a death sentence, and waived appeals.

Accomplice Briley Piper, age 19, also pled guilty and was sentenced to death. Accomplice Darrell Hoadley, age 20, is serving a sentence of life without parole.

Last words and such: Asked if he had any last words, Page replied, "No." Asked if he understood the question Page responded, "Yes, no last words."

I really hope he enjoyed his jalapeño poppers. I wish I knew what flavor ice cream he asked for.

I also hope the execution procedure was a complete fuck-up, totally in line with the scientific article linked above.

Yes, the death penalty is retributive. Ain’t got nothing to do with general deterrence. It does, however, help the recidivism rate, eh?

the bad in "bad predictions"

I am somewhat reluctant to even write this post, let alone publish it. I found an article, the “Top 87 Bad Predictions about the Future”. I enjoyed reading it, but let’s retitle it, “Top 85 …”

It’s a good list except for the two political cracks. George the Elder “no new taxes” completely blows off the fact that the dems in Congress blatantly and publicly lied to set him up. They said the increases in taxes would be offset by decreases in spending, and the margin would dollar-for-dollar reduce the deficit. It was a political trade in the best interests of the country. Geo the Elder bit – then the dems bailed and crucified him. Not only did they not reduce spending, they increased it. A-holes top to bottom. The other crack is about Iraq and WMDs. Everyone thought – including Clinton – that they were there. We all had evidence they were there (just ask the Kurds), the UN required proof of destruction, and Iraq refused entry to sites to allow us to prove out their words – yeah, the Iraqi government lied plenty of times before, so they had no veracity on this topic. So this statement by Franks is on par with the rest of the list – space travel, light bulbs, television? I really detest political and social agendas buried in otherwise worthy reading. Childish of them. Degrades their work.

I’ll press ahead anyway because I am … um … me. Screw ‘em. Ain’t no lib with a sign that reads, “Bush lied and people died” gonna take away my fun. How’s this for a sign, “I have my head stuck so far up my ass that I can fart out my ears.” What a copy? Establish your lib credentials to me and I will have the sign made and shipped to you.

Onward.

«I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.» Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869. Actually, I agree with him. It was not his work, but the abuse of it that has caused such turmoil. His work speaks only of evolution, not a word about creation. He can write all he wanted to about apes-to-men, but there was no fossil record of it and he admitted the same. He did say it existed, but just hadn’t been found. That was his scientific mistake. He should never speculate. Not good science. He found evidence of intra-species evolution and should have limited his speculation. Oh well.

«They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-» Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania on May 9, 1864, then promptly took a fatal shot. Here’s the full story: His corps was probing skirmish lines ahead of the left flank of Confederate defenses and he was directing artillery placements. Confederate sharpshooters were about 1,000 yards away and their shots caused members of his staff and artillerymen to duck for cover. Sedgwick strode around in the open and was quoted as saying, "What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." Although ashamed, his men continued to flinch and he repeated, "I'm ashamed of you, dodging that way. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." Just seconds later he fell forward with a bullet hole below his left eye. – Bet that left a mark, eh, John?

«... good enough for our transatlantic friends ... but unworthy of the attention of practical or scientific men.» British Parliamentary Committee, referring to Edison's light bulb, 1878. Ironic that the symbol for having an idea is now a light bulb above a head.

«There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.» Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp. (DEC), maker of big business mainframe computers, arguing against the PC in 1977. This caught my attention because I graduated high school that year. About six years later I bought my first home computer. I wonder if the statement is given more weight than he meant. It could have just been some marketing territory thing, a put-down of an upstart competitor.

«Lee DeForest has said in many newspapers and over his signature that it would be possible to transmit the human voice across the Atlantic before many years. Based on these absurd and deliberately misleading statements, the misguided public ... has been persuaded to purchase stock in his company ...» a U.S. District Attorney, prosecuting American inventor Lee DeForest for selling stock fraudulently through the mail for his Radio Telephone Company in 1913. What amazes me is when people think outside their profession. I understand the drill – for some trial work, I had to prepare to go (and did) toe-to-toe with docs and other professionals, attacking them in their field of expertise. But here, raising money to conduct scientific inquiry does not seem to rise to the level of a crime. It could have all been in the delivery – “I guaranty this can happen. Your returns on these investments will be no less than six-fold.” Those statements would be worthy of indictment, but would not make good fodder for a bad-quotations list.

«Space travel is utter bilge.» Richard Van Der Riet Woolley, upon assuming the post of Astronomer Royal in 1956. ”Bilge” is such a great word. American Heritage provides the following: “1. The rounded portion of a ship's hull, forming a transition between the bottom and the sides. The lowest inner part of a ship's hull. 2. Bilge water. 3. [Slang] Stupid talk or writing; nonsense. 4. The bulging part of a barrel or cask.” I am singularly unsatisfied with this list of definitions. The slang doesn’t seem to have a basis in the rest. Here’s the etymology: c. 1513, "lowest internal part of a ship," also "the foulness which collects there," variant of bulge "ship's hull." Ah, that makes sense. It is “stupid talk” as in “foul words.” So I wanted to see when the guy died (December 24, 1986) to get a lift out of what he saw in his lifetime, and I found the complete quote: "It's utter bilge. I don't think anybody will ever put up enough money to do such a thing . . . What good would it do us? If we spent the same amount of money on preparing first-class astronomical equipment we would learn much more about the universe . . . It is all rather rot." Ah, while there is a history in the guy (in 1936, reviewing P.E. Cleator's "Rockets in Space", he also said, "The whole procedure [of shooting rockets into space]...presents difficulties of so fundamental a nature, that we are forced to dismiss the notion as essentially impracticable, in spite of the author's insistent appeal to put aside prejudice and to recollect the supposed impossibility of heavier-than-air flight before it was actually accomplished"), the “bilge” quote seems to be taken out of context. I am becoming less enamored with this “list” as I go.

«A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth's atmosphere.» New York Times, 1936. Back on track. Nothing like the stupidity of the NYT on display to brighten my spirits. Commercial: “I read the NYT because it gives me a view of the news not available anywhere else.” Yes, but the problem with the “view” is that the sources are specious, the writing usually opinion appearing off the op-ed pages, and they have this kiss-my-ass attitude about anyone that differs with their world view. While I don’t mind, as a general statement, a KMA attitude, I do mind when it is them because, well, they are them. Know what I mean? They can kiss my ass.

«Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous.» Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, 1939. Fundamental problem: A politician speaking not of politics, but of science. Shudder.

«A man has been arrested in New York for attempting to extort funds from ignorant and superstitious people by exhibiting a device which he says will convey the human voice any distance over metallic wires so that it will be heard by the listener at the other end. He calls this instrument a telephone. Well-informed people know that it is impossible to transmit the human voice over wires.» News item in a New York newspaper, 1868. Is this the NYT incognito?

«Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia.» Dr Dionysius Larder (1793-1859), professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College London. [I had to correct the spelling of his first name from the source post.] It seems the comment was related to an assessment of a plan to have the government fund the construction of a broader gauge railroad track. An informative bit: “Brunel himself suggested that the opinions of other engineers should be sought and he was unlucky enough to be saddled with a Dr Dionysius Lardner who displayed a remarkable talent for drawing incorrect conclusions from observed data. Lardner attributed the poor performance of the company's best engine to the excessive air resistance of the wide locomotives and concluded that the broad gauge was inherently inferior. However, Brunel and Gooch found that it was back pressure due to misalignment of the blast pipe orifice and not air resistance which was the cause. After some hasty modifications to the engine they were able to haul nearly three times the load on but one third of the fuel used in Lardner's tests.” So, the statement was an extension of his (albeit incorrect) conclusion based upon observed data. Not as egregious as presented.

«The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.» Comment of Aide-de-camp to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916. But, sir, when you hit the tank with a bullet, it goes “tink!” as opposed to the “ooooff!” you get from a horse or rider!

«Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.» Thomas Edison, American inventor, 1889 (Edison often ridiculed the arguments of competitor George Westinghouse for AC power). There are many quotes by Edison that I have read over the years of this ilk. The boy seems to have been a singularly disagreeable fellow. I suspect he was widely disliked by all but his fellow megalomaniacs of the time.

Alright, I’m done. But I did learn something … on balance, the article wasn’t fair. Oh well. Good thing I don’t pay for column inches.

little willie john is noy-vous

Nights can often be a time for filling hours. I’ve written for most of it tonight. Such incredibly redundant questions in an accreditation document. It is as if they expect you to give incompetent answers, so they ask for another variant of the previous question, then repeat the process eight or nine times. Painful. Finally hit the wall.

I’ve been listening to blues lately. Muddy Water’s Champagne and Reefer has a line in it that I have always missed a few words. Somehow, as I was putting gas in the car the other day, it clicked – “there oughta be a law against arresting people cuz they smoke a little dope.” Rather ironic, eh?

Got Buddy Guy singing Black Cat Blues now. I kept on blowing past Buddy Guy as I was stealing mp3’s online because I confused him with that drummer that used to show up on shows like Johnny Carson in the 1970s. Buddy Rich? Talk about a dying breed. And when was the last time you saw some guy come on stage with all the hardware and whistles from Aisle 5 at Home Depot strapped to every possible body part and call himself a “one-man band”? You had to love the small cymbals attached to the inside of his knees. I think the main instrument was always an accordion. You have to love accordions, such happy sounds.

I never liked clowns, circus or otherwise. Very low clown tolerance. I wonder if there is therapy for that. I guess it would have to be classified as a syndrome first so insurance would pay. For someone who liked clowns too much it would be Clown Aversion Therapy (CAT). Clown Anon. Meetings. Bunch of Steps. Calling clowns you got stalked to make amends. But what if you wanted to get closer to clowns? They are (gag) people, too!

It would be like over-coming any other phobia, I guess. They have fake airplanes that you can sit in to overcome that fear. Which I think is so stupid – it ain’t 30,000 feet up propelling like a tossed rock at 500 MPH. And when it is, then I am going ballistic and the federal marshall guy is going to have to subdue me with a stun gun. Anyway, clowns. Do they start with blow-up doll clowns? Would they be anatomically correct? The fallacy in that approach would be instantly known by any clown hater – the problem is the make-up. Grease paint on greasy skin. Makes my skin crawl just typing it. No clowns. No therapy. No, “Hi, my name is Clyde, I haven’t hated a clown for 23 days.” I will always hate clowns, circus and otherwise. Rehab is for quitters.

My twin disappeared for the night and it is really stressing me out.

I wrote a few weeks back, maybe a month, that I quit reading the news. Talk about jonesing! I spent at least two hours every day reading the news. At least. Would use a news site to clear my mind. Talk about irony. I found myself not able to delete my news-related favorites. Instead, I hide them out of sight on the list. Literally, I honestly told myself, “just in case.” Just in case of what? I had it bad. I was going to science sites and looking for news updates. Then I got angry with myself. I stopped watching ESPN because since ABC bought them, there is news at the bottom of the screen often. However long it has been, I haven’t visited a single site in I cannot remember how long. I am a news survivor! Just to test my resolve, when I was driving home from Rhode island last week, I let the sports radio station go into the news cycle. I learned nothing. It was great. What a complete waste of time the news is. Want proof? I heard all this doom and gloom about the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Doom and gloom? It was trading at 12,500! Get over it! That’s a lot of wealth creation over the last several years. Relax. Geez, news – done.

Jerry Lee Lewis, Great Balls of Fire. The movie of the same name is worth getting just for the scene where Jerry lee thought he was being dissed by not getting the last stage time, so he played this song and lit the piano on fire. Gotta love Jerry Lee. Unfortunately, you better write your fan letters soon. I have him in a Dead Celebrities Pool for 2007. Time’s running out, Jerry Lee, you have a little bit over four months before you have to expire. Sorry, pal. Saw you play in Scranton in 1971. Good show.

I think family is funny. So much drama and intrigue. No wonder cheap television does so well. It reflects the lives of so many people.

Little Willie John is so cool. I’m Shakin’ (1959).

When ya touch my hand
An' talk sweet talk
I got a knockin' in my knees
And a wobble in my walk

I'm tremblin'
And I'm shakin'

A-when ya take me in your arms
To talk romance
My heart starts doin' the St. Vitas dance

An' I'm pantin'
An' I'm shakin'

Early in the mornin' time
Late in the middle of the night
Whenever this chill comes over me
I wanna hug you with all-a my might, ay-ay

An' I'm sweatin'
An' I'm shakin'

A chill an a fever
So I've been told
Makes your head spin around
An' your feet run cold

I got fever
An' I'm shakin'

Feel like I been run through the mill
I can't move around an' I can't stand still

I'm so jittery
An' I'm shakin'

Samson was a mighty good man
Strongest in his day
Then along came Delilah an' clipped his wig
An' it looks like you took me
The same old way

So, I'm 'noy-vous'
An' I'm shakin'

Well, a storm rocks a ship on a sea
The wind shakes the leaves on a tree
I'm like a nervous wreck
I'm all shook up
And that's what you are doin' to me

'Cause I'm jumpin'
An' I'm shakin'
An' I'm jumpin'
An' I'm shakin'

Sha-aaaa-kin'
Shakin', shakin', shakin'
Shakin', um-mmm-mmm
I'm shakin'

FADES-
Shakin'
Shakin'
I'm shakin'

So incredibly cool. Night.

diagnosis

I always read the news. Well, more accurately, I read easily more than a hundred headlines a day, perhaps half that in ledes, and anywhere from zero to a dozen full articles. I guess I am familiar with the news each day.

But familiarity is all that is necessary. Put aside actual events – medical advances, the thwarted attack in London, the partial attack in Glasgow, Ivan the Terrible Putin visiting WDC – and most of what is left of any repetitive nature is political news. That, I have come to realize at long last, is a contradiction of terms. There is little if any news in politics, at least anymore. It is all opinion.

The Immigration Bill, v2.0, dies a senatorial death. Headline reads, “Bush’s Lost Political Capital.” The lede states that President Bush has suffered a major defeat in the Senate. What?! Bush defeated? I thought Senator Reid was riding this bill through like a cowboy on the trail – and he showed up at the end of the run with most of the herd still grazing fifty miles behind him. The boy couldn’t deliver, and it’s Bush’s fault. Push aside the Senate Leader, where is Kennedy’s face-on-the-wanted-poster in the post-mortem?

I endured the Rise of Gore as his planet-be-hot commercial for rebuilding his trashed intellectual reputation became a replacement for God. Scientists blackballed, schools buying thousands of copies, throngs at airports. Goremania arrived, just without a musical score or cutting-edge hair style. Now the stories push in two directions: his commercial has no scientific durability; Gore reconsider’s run for POTUS.

Illinois champions raising the minimum wage, then the Illinois government won’t pay its contractors the increased cost – so it retains out-of-state contractors that have lower costs.

I just don’t care. Politics is all power for these clowns. It is a game to them. A game, granted, that has and they perceive as very serious and with grave consequences. However, here is what they don’t understand: it is the process that matters. Both sides have such concentrations of power that the end result is no longer something of value. Bills are watered down to practical meaninglessness. If they aren’t crippled at passage, they are in later congressional actions. So we are most often denied a result that has merit. We then need to console ourselves that open debate occurred in the process – but no, open and honest does not happen, and the debate that does occur is not reported without a thick political filter.

This state of affairs is why all I need to do is familiarize myself with the headlines and ledes in order to be fully informed. It is also why I registered as an “Independent” instead of the republican I was since my I began voting. I will still vote for pubs. I find dems to totally lack a respect for an open and free economy, and to be on most levels, well, evil. But I will not allow the pubs to count my number as theirs before an election. As I write now, I actually have no intention of ever voting again.

I am not disaffected, just disinterested.

of lawyers and other whiners

Vladdie Putin is sooo funny. Reagan’s dream of a missile-defense system is in the deployment stage. So, Vladdie is in full temper tantrum mode. An article a few days ago read that Vladdie claimed he could get around the system. In the link above, he is saying he’ll just have to select targets in Europe. Wait, if he could get around it, then why would he need to change targets?

I remember when the Strategic Defense Initiative was publicly proposed. The libs called it “Star Wars.” Said it wouldn’t work, was nothing more than a pipe dream. This is, boys and girls, I was close to the programs in the early 1980s. They had been in development for years before Reagan publicly announced the initiative. They were already off the drawing board and into prototype mode. The development now has Vladdie stomping his feet and holding his breath. If he wasn’t worried about it, he would be encouraging its deployment or staying silent.

If you ever want to know how scared someone is, listen to the empty threats they toss around. I almost feel sad for the guy. Must be frustrating to have your entire offensive arsenal rendered useless overnight.

After a critical assessment, I have been determined to be most like the disease rabies (so is my daughter!) What disease are you?

The Beatles have launched a new site dedicated to Sgt. Pepper. June 1, 2007, marked 40 years since its release. What I find very telling is that John’s voice is not among the snippets of discussion on the site – Paul, George, RIngo, George Martin – but no John. Rather underscores the a-holic nature of Yoko.

OK, I suck at true math. I can do financial analyses, but I don’t speak algebra too good. So where’s the error?

a + b = c
4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c
4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c
4(a + b - c) = 3(a + b - c)
4 = 3

I am thinking that I am headed back to practicing law – learning too harrowingly that the corporate world has little interest in buying the cow when it can have the milk for free. Found this cartoon. I better print it out to remind me that I have some old skills to recall and new proclivities to dampen.



My main practice area was criminal law. My teaching since was in criminal justice. I think a future practice for me will be in criminal appellate work. Found a couple more humorous cartoons on point:



Bye for now ...