God is.

My twin found this for me. Amazing new movie coming out.

I've always had a lot of respect for Ben Stein. I enjoy people that are both intelligent and humorous. Seems like a nice guy, too - I wrote him once about a fight I got into when Nixon was accused of Watergate. I was in the 6th grade, and some liberal kid wouldn't shut up, so I kicked his ass. Ben was one of Nixon's speechwriters. I actually wrote him just to say I appreciated his work and the story came with it. He wrote back! Nice guy.

He has a movie coming out in April 2008, called "Expelled." Watch the trailer here. He investigated and now reports on the professional difficulties of people in academia and the sciences that look at Intelligent Design as a scientific theory. Seems their careers are being destroyed. I never understood why. Well, not unless you look beyond Darwin's theory and assume a more sinister agenda: the denial of God. Do you think?

No need to dwell on it, but have you noticed that being politically correct means that you have to agree with the liberals? If you disagree, then speech is no longer free. Everybody has to be happy and treated with respect - unless you disagree. Then you get pummeled.

That's the issue in Expelled. If you disagree with some guy that drew birds over a hundred years ago and knew nothing of DNA - who thought that a cell was filled with this protoplasm icky stuff which itself was the lowest form of detail in life - then you are committing ... wait for it ... heresy! How ironic, eh?

I read a well-reasoned refutation of Darwin in Biochemist Micheal Behe's Darwin's Black Box. (I'm not going to honor it with a link - but if you google the book title, you get a whole lot of nasty scientists trying refute the book. If only they would spend that energy on Algore.)

Darwin said that if a system in nature is irreducibly complex, then Evolution as a theory does not work. That is, since the theory is one of incremental change forward and we are presently viewing evolved systems, we must be able to work those systems backward to their original state. If an evolved system cannot be reduced because the removal of one part would make the entire system not work, then that system is irreducibly complex. Behe started with the example of a mousetrap. Remove any one part and it won't catch mice (which seems to be its purpose for existing). Work it forward and the same conundrum arises - a metal bar can't be held back without a piece of wood which itself doesn't need a hook. There are evolved pieces in a mousetrap that had to be designed.

Behe uses several examples from the human body. I love the blood coagulation example. The proteins involved in coagulating blood are remarkable. And think about it - if blood flowed to provide oxygen but never coagulated in the earliest life forms, every member in a species would have bled out and died before being able to evolve. Then when coagulation did begin, why didn't the entire body gum up and the host die? But dig into the biochemical reactions at the site of an injury and learn how coagulation begins and ends, and it becomes clear that there is no reasonable manner except scientific bullshit ("there is so much unused stuff in the system that it just ... it just ... um, it just happened because all the precursors were there!") to refute it.

But, ah, therein lies the issue. Instead of giving Intelligent Design it's fair run (which they would do if, say, we ignored solar activity and its effects on the icecaps of Mars, and instead blame us for Global Warming), they put up impossible obstacles - Intelligent Design? That's a GOD. That's RELIGION. Then they break out the stakes and kindling.

So now Ben has joined the argument. Can't wait to see the film. Will it get as much play as Algore's piece of unscientific garbage on melting icebergs?

Here's the Blog that Ben is keeping. Here's a few-page Press Kit.

Should be fun.

And now a self promotion. I wrote a piece some time ago - October 2005 - Evolution and Intelligent Design - and reproduced here:

Evolution theory works something like this: there was, you see, this big BANG!, then like, WHOMPF! all this stuff was just screaming outward at incredible rates of speed and then somehow or another some of it started spinning really, really fast (instead of continuing outward as a result of the original propulsion, some of it started to circle back!) and that spinning stuff caught on fire, well, nuclear fusion kinda sorta that starts at the core of this spinning thing where the pressure is so great that hydrogen is like smashed into helium-4 (the loss of mass creates energy – ever hear of the theory of relativity, duh?!?) and then the energy becomes a photon and starts moving outward and does this photon-gas-photon-gas thingey to like 10 to the 25th times and finally it reaches the surface (like 100,000 to 200,000 years after the hydrogen pressure thingey) and then there’s this convection of hot and cooler gas – anyway, light and heat is spit outward and while all this is happening other stuff started to spin around those firey things and on one of them a cell emerged – quite by random chance, mind you, well maybe the saline solution helped but that just kinda appeared, too – and that cell split into two pieces and then, and then it evolved (!) to optimize its in situ experience and then, and then eventually it evolved into us (and monkeys, too!): each cell in our body contains a copy of our DNA; each dual strand of DNA in each of our cells is made up of 3,000,000,000 (three billion) molecules; each human body contains 100,000,000,000,000 (one hundred trillion) cells. One hundred trillion multiplied by three billion (btw, 300 sextillion; unless you are in Europe where it is called 300 trilliard because what the Brits call a sextillion we call an undecillion; confusing, I know – let’s be clear, we’re talking 10 to the 21st, not 10 to the 36th; if it were a hard disk, it would be 300 zettabytes – ok, I’ll stop) and with all that evoluting goin’ on there is only one form of humanoid on our planet – go figure – what a glorious random chance event we are!!!

oh, btw, that stuff preceding the BANG!, the stuff in the first instance, was sumptin' outta nuttin'.

And you people think I'm the one going on faith?

politcally irresponsible

In case you have nothing to do this afternoon, here’s the Logo Channel Saturday afternoon lineup. The ellipses are from the website.

My Mums Used to Be Men. Meet Louise, the 12-year old daughter of two transgender parents living in Great Britain. When Louise finds herself the subject of media frenzy surrounding her parents' lifestyle, she decides to reach out to families that are constructed similarly to her own. After meeting a boy named Jamie and a transgender mother named Claire, Louise feels less... (So this guy is probably gay. Then he gets a sex change, and hooks up with a woman. How ironic.)

The Believers. What happens when a group of trans-people want to reclaim their spirituality and start an all-trans gospel choir? Transcendence Gospel Choir, the first ever entirely transgender choir, consists of individuals who are attempting to overcome feeling "Bible burnt" by the Christian Right while at the same time trying to form a musically cohesive choir... (I am sure looking at who sings soprano and who sings bass would be rather confusing. I love the use of the label, “Christian Right” like it’s a bad thing.)

Camp Out. If it isn't hard enough being a gay teenager in the midwest, imagine being a gay Christian teen. With the derision of society, family and the church against them, ten gay Christian teenagers struggle to confront the questions of faith and their burgeoning sexuality in light of what their church and Christian society has told them. This documentary... (“Burgeoning sexuality”? Is this a soft porn piece?)

Why is the underlying theme of all of these bits so negative? Why is that worn in the sleeve so consistently and blatantly? Can’t movies be made about the gay culture that are positive and supporting? It is always so much “them versus us.”

I was driving home today and heard an old Buffalo Springfield song (“For What It’s Worth”) that struck a thought:

There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong

(Here’s the YouTube.)

THAT is precisely the problem with the democratic argument in politics today. The pubs say, “They [Islamic pilots and blow-up dolls] are wrong. We are right.” Libs say, “We are wrong” – and then END the commentary. They spend hours and hours droning on about how wrong W is – but they NEVER say, “Those people over there are wrong, TOO.” So the pubs gleefully call the libs “enablers.” That’s the price paid for presenting half an argument.

I am finding it so hard to stay away from politics. When such stupid stories come out, how can I? Tell me if you can in any manner believe this story:

(Confirmed voice recording of Bill Clinton): There is this whole business of the new politics. Well I got a taste of the new politics today. We need a new politics where we all love each other. You’ve heard all that. There’s a radio ad up in the northern part of Nevada telling Republicans that they ought to just register as Democrats for a day so they can beat Hillary and go out and be Republicans next week and vote in the primary. Doesn’t sound like the new politics to me.

Today when my daughter and I were wandering through the hotel, and all these culinary workers were mobbing us telling us they didn’t care what the union told them to do, they were gonna caucus for Hillary.

There was a representative of the organization following along behind us going up to everybody who said that, saying 'if you’re not gonna vote for our guy were gonna give you a schedule tomorrow so you can’t be there.' So, is this the new politics? I haven’t seen anything like that in America in 35 years. So I will say it again – they think they're better than you.

Think about this for a moment. An ex-President of the United States, complete with Secret Service protection, actually witnesses a union rep saying these things? Sees a union goon following behind taking names and numbers of defectors? Oh. My. God. And he rather sheepishly ignored this situation? Wasn’t there press around him at the time? This lie is so frickin’ blatant. Bubba is just trailer-park trash. He has lost all his personal credibility. The boy is imploding. What a shame.

Actually, I don’t look at New Hampshire as a Hillary win at all. I see it all as packaging. They set it up that if Obama didn’t win big, then Hillary was the “comeback bull.” In reality, that was just a repackaging of her 20-point lead that evaporated. Obama made up 20 points in a week. She collapsed in NH. Today, Nevada should be interesting since Hillary lost the lawsuit to block casino voters from voting at work (caucusing, whatever). It will be fun to see the teacher vote that Hillary loses. Of course, Hillary is packaging South Carolina as a no-expectations state because of the disproportionate black vote. These people are so unbelievably racist.

Let’s see … we hit gays, Quran thumpers, and liberals. What’re we missing? Let me think. The handicapped!

OK, so this mentally handicapped prostitute is waving down vehicles. Some guy being interviewed said that she had “just really poor hygiene.” Ten bucks for a little hum time. The customer is or was in law enforcement. Remarkable little vignette.



Funny thing is, I have often said that I would never pay for sex. But isn’t marriage the same thing at a higher price?

See ya …

the bad in "bad predictions"

I am somewhat reluctant to even write this post, let alone publish it. I found an article, the “Top 87 Bad Predictions about the Future”. I enjoyed reading it, but let’s retitle it, “Top 85 …”

It’s a good list except for the two political cracks. George the Elder “no new taxes” completely blows off the fact that the dems in Congress blatantly and publicly lied to set him up. They said the increases in taxes would be offset by decreases in spending, and the margin would dollar-for-dollar reduce the deficit. It was a political trade in the best interests of the country. Geo the Elder bit – then the dems bailed and crucified him. Not only did they not reduce spending, they increased it. A-holes top to bottom. The other crack is about Iraq and WMDs. Everyone thought – including Clinton – that they were there. We all had evidence they were there (just ask the Kurds), the UN required proof of destruction, and Iraq refused entry to sites to allow us to prove out their words – yeah, the Iraqi government lied plenty of times before, so they had no veracity on this topic. So this statement by Franks is on par with the rest of the list – space travel, light bulbs, television? I really detest political and social agendas buried in otherwise worthy reading. Childish of them. Degrades their work.

I’ll press ahead anyway because I am … um … me. Screw ‘em. Ain’t no lib with a sign that reads, “Bush lied and people died” gonna take away my fun. How’s this for a sign, “I have my head stuck so far up my ass that I can fart out my ears.” What a copy? Establish your lib credentials to me and I will have the sign made and shipped to you.

Onward.

«I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.» Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869. Actually, I agree with him. It was not his work, but the abuse of it that has caused such turmoil. His work speaks only of evolution, not a word about creation. He can write all he wanted to about apes-to-men, but there was no fossil record of it and he admitted the same. He did say it existed, but just hadn’t been found. That was his scientific mistake. He should never speculate. Not good science. He found evidence of intra-species evolution and should have limited his speculation. Oh well.

«They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-» Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania on May 9, 1864, then promptly took a fatal shot. Here’s the full story: His corps was probing skirmish lines ahead of the left flank of Confederate defenses and he was directing artillery placements. Confederate sharpshooters were about 1,000 yards away and their shots caused members of his staff and artillerymen to duck for cover. Sedgwick strode around in the open and was quoted as saying, "What? Men dodging this way for single bullets? What will you do when they open fire along the whole line? I am ashamed of you. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." Although ashamed, his men continued to flinch and he repeated, "I'm ashamed of you, dodging that way. They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." Just seconds later he fell forward with a bullet hole below his left eye. – Bet that left a mark, eh, John?

«... good enough for our transatlantic friends ... but unworthy of the attention of practical or scientific men.» British Parliamentary Committee, referring to Edison's light bulb, 1878. Ironic that the symbol for having an idea is now a light bulb above a head.

«There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.» Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp. (DEC), maker of big business mainframe computers, arguing against the PC in 1977. This caught my attention because I graduated high school that year. About six years later I bought my first home computer. I wonder if the statement is given more weight than he meant. It could have just been some marketing territory thing, a put-down of an upstart competitor.

«Lee DeForest has said in many newspapers and over his signature that it would be possible to transmit the human voice across the Atlantic before many years. Based on these absurd and deliberately misleading statements, the misguided public ... has been persuaded to purchase stock in his company ...» a U.S. District Attorney, prosecuting American inventor Lee DeForest for selling stock fraudulently through the mail for his Radio Telephone Company in 1913. What amazes me is when people think outside their profession. I understand the drill – for some trial work, I had to prepare to go (and did) toe-to-toe with docs and other professionals, attacking them in their field of expertise. But here, raising money to conduct scientific inquiry does not seem to rise to the level of a crime. It could have all been in the delivery – “I guaranty this can happen. Your returns on these investments will be no less than six-fold.” Those statements would be worthy of indictment, but would not make good fodder for a bad-quotations list.

«Space travel is utter bilge.» Richard Van Der Riet Woolley, upon assuming the post of Astronomer Royal in 1956. ”Bilge” is such a great word. American Heritage provides the following: “1. The rounded portion of a ship's hull, forming a transition between the bottom and the sides. The lowest inner part of a ship's hull. 2. Bilge water. 3. [Slang] Stupid talk or writing; nonsense. 4. The bulging part of a barrel or cask.” I am singularly unsatisfied with this list of definitions. The slang doesn’t seem to have a basis in the rest. Here’s the etymology: c. 1513, "lowest internal part of a ship," also "the foulness which collects there," variant of bulge "ship's hull." Ah, that makes sense. It is “stupid talk” as in “foul words.” So I wanted to see when the guy died (December 24, 1986) to get a lift out of what he saw in his lifetime, and I found the complete quote: "It's utter bilge. I don't think anybody will ever put up enough money to do such a thing . . . What good would it do us? If we spent the same amount of money on preparing first-class astronomical equipment we would learn much more about the universe . . . It is all rather rot." Ah, while there is a history in the guy (in 1936, reviewing P.E. Cleator's "Rockets in Space", he also said, "The whole procedure [of shooting rockets into space]...presents difficulties of so fundamental a nature, that we are forced to dismiss the notion as essentially impracticable, in spite of the author's insistent appeal to put aside prejudice and to recollect the supposed impossibility of heavier-than-air flight before it was actually accomplished"), the “bilge” quote seems to be taken out of context. I am becoming less enamored with this “list” as I go.

«A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth's atmosphere.» New York Times, 1936. Back on track. Nothing like the stupidity of the NYT on display to brighten my spirits. Commercial: “I read the NYT because it gives me a view of the news not available anywhere else.” Yes, but the problem with the “view” is that the sources are specious, the writing usually opinion appearing off the op-ed pages, and they have this kiss-my-ass attitude about anyone that differs with their world view. While I don’t mind, as a general statement, a KMA attitude, I do mind when it is them because, well, they are them. Know what I mean? They can kiss my ass.

«Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous.» Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, 1939. Fundamental problem: A politician speaking not of politics, but of science. Shudder.

«A man has been arrested in New York for attempting to extort funds from ignorant and superstitious people by exhibiting a device which he says will convey the human voice any distance over metallic wires so that it will be heard by the listener at the other end. He calls this instrument a telephone. Well-informed people know that it is impossible to transmit the human voice over wires.» News item in a New York newspaper, 1868. Is this the NYT incognito?

«Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia.» Dr Dionysius Larder (1793-1859), professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College London. [I had to correct the spelling of his first name from the source post.] It seems the comment was related to an assessment of a plan to have the government fund the construction of a broader gauge railroad track. An informative bit: “Brunel himself suggested that the opinions of other engineers should be sought and he was unlucky enough to be saddled with a Dr Dionysius Lardner who displayed a remarkable talent for drawing incorrect conclusions from observed data. Lardner attributed the poor performance of the company's best engine to the excessive air resistance of the wide locomotives and concluded that the broad gauge was inherently inferior. However, Brunel and Gooch found that it was back pressure due to misalignment of the blast pipe orifice and not air resistance which was the cause. After some hasty modifications to the engine they were able to haul nearly three times the load on but one third of the fuel used in Lardner's tests.” So, the statement was an extension of his (albeit incorrect) conclusion based upon observed data. Not as egregious as presented.

«The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.» Comment of Aide-de-camp to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916. But, sir, when you hit the tank with a bullet, it goes “tink!” as opposed to the “ooooff!” you get from a horse or rider!

«Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.» Thomas Edison, American inventor, 1889 (Edison often ridiculed the arguments of competitor George Westinghouse for AC power). There are many quotes by Edison that I have read over the years of this ilk. The boy seems to have been a singularly disagreeable fellow. I suspect he was widely disliked by all but his fellow megalomaniacs of the time.

Alright, I’m done. But I did learn something … on balance, the article wasn’t fair. Oh well. Good thing I don’t pay for column inches.

Hi, my name is Clyde. I'm left-handed.

I always note how many left-handed people are in a group. I was training faculty yesterday in New England – seemed to be at least three out of 25. Could have been more, but that exceeds the 10% in the general population, particularly when you add me. Four out of 26 is 15%. (I’ve seen general population numbers claiming that we be up to 25%, but I have never encountered anything close to one in four – and I’ve been looking!)

The most obvious mark is choice of hand in writing. Something I use that seems highly reliable but not foolproof is placement of jewelry on wrists and fingers. You people put your watch on your left wrist; we reverse it, generally. T’aint much more annoying than writing with a watch on the same wrist – gets caught on everything and makes noise. The same logic extends to bracelets and rings.

I’m the only left-hander up and down my genetic pool for one generation – that’s three generations inclusive. I am told that one other person – maternal grandmother’s twin brother – was left-handed, but that is it for that generation on both sides. So four generations yielded two people. Pretty small harvest.

I should be on the Endangered Species List. I wonder if I can get a National Park Ranger to follow me around in bars and arrest people with whom I get into fights. I could be entry #1239 on the Endangered Species List (Animals). I’d be classified under “Vertebrate Animals: Mammals,” in this species list. I would be among such animals as the Chinese alligator, giant sable antelope, African wild ass, the Mexican grizzly bear, and the koala. Pop quiz: Why are all of these animals endangered? Because they taste good.

The Delta (CA) Smelt is on the list. I think I remember that on the menu when I lived in California. Guess it was pretty popular! It’s all in the preparation: hot pan, little EVOO and garlic, very light breading, squeeze a freshly cut lemon over them when you plate on a bed of arugula, and be sure to have a thinly sliced and warmed sourdough on the side.

Isn’t putting the Brazilian three-toed sloth on the list a contradiction? I thought all these bleeding hearts were God-less in the sense that Darwin knows better how all this evolution thing works and that ain’t nuttin been “created.” Let’s set aside the patent illogic of the position: Darwin wrote of evolution – one thing became another – which presupposed the existence of that “one thing.” Creationism says, “here is where that one thing came from.” The two positions have nothing to do with one another. Besides that, not a shred of evidence exists for macro-evolution – species to species, only micro – intra-species. Don’t get me started on irreducibly complex systems and Darwin’s own renunciation of his theory.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the three-toed sloth is stupid and ugly. It deserves to become extinct. Just like the guy that zoomed past me yesterday at 95 MPH yesterday on Route 95 in NY in some car held together by duct tape. The whine of his engine made me think of a lawnmower about to go super nova – or a Viagra-induced pocket rocket cranking into its fifth hour. The only question in my mind was whether I would see the guy and the “car” a few miles down the road in a thousand pieces none bigger than a softball or something vaguely resembling an Uncle Buck pancake. Fortunately, I exited to the Tappen Zee Bridge; I dislike seeing survival of the fittest in action.

So the bleeders in this world create the Endangered Species List and mess with Darwin, yet we can’t pray before a football game – go figure.

Here’s a great fact: In 2007, researchers discovered LRRTM1, the first gene linked to increased odds of being left-handed. The researchers also claim that possessing this gene slightly raises the risk of psychotic mental illnesses. The principal researcher? Clyde Francks. A coincidence? There is no such thing as coincidences, just unknown connections.

Now, what the hell is this crack about “psychotic mental illness”? WTF do they think they are talking about? I get so fricking angry when people think they can much broad statements – because they are jealous, yeah, that’s right, JEALOUS - just because I can use my left hand like a standing-erect homo sapien! You people are pathetic. Condemning someone because of an immutable characteristic. It’s ok to be gay; it’s ok to be a heroin addict or an alcoholic; it’s even ok for Johnny to have his dick surgically removed so he can become Joan. But, hey, pick up a pen with your left hand and you’re labeled psychotic! F*CK YOU PEOPLE! A**HOLES!! YOU CAN KISS MY A**! HERE! JAMMIES DOWN, BENT OVER! KISS IT! NOW!!! PECKERHEAD! I HATE YOU, WITH A WELL-CONSIDERED DEEP LOATHING, I JUST HATE YOU. HERE’S MY LAWNMOWER, A ROLL OF DUCT TAPE, AND A MAP – GO FIND AN INTERSTATE! IF I'M PSYCHOTIC THEN I WANT A HANDICAP LICENSE PLATE SO I CAN ENTER AND EXIT QUICKLY AND YOU PEOPLE WON'T HAVE TO LOOK ME! WHERE'S THE PHONE BOOK? I WANT TO CALL MY CONGRESSMAN!

I have to take my meds. I’ll be right back.

Alright, better. It’s a pretty day outside, isn’t it? I love how flowers look in early fall. So soft and cuddly! I want to nap in them. I’ll get my stuffed mouse and blankey later, and use the flowers as my pillow and dream of clouds and the Moon and walking on the beach. Smile soooo big!!!!

So 92% of left-handers use their left hand to hold their toothbrush. I’ve hurt my left hand and had to use the other one – felt like someone was cramming something into my mouth with all the grace of a speed boat chewing up a three-toed sloth. Almost a third of us use scissors with the wrong hand – I am not included in that group of traitors. But a good point is made – society makes its tools for wrong-handed people: Scissors, watches, can openers, even the angle on spatulas. Here’s a good source for thoughtfully designed items. Do you realize tape measures are wrong-handed? Think about it. You designers are a bunch of pricks. I better double up on my meds. brb …

Smile.

I lifted this text from here: “Some researchers claim that we are more intelligent and eloquent that our right-handed counterparts. In tests conducted by Dr. Alan Searleman from St Lawrence University in New York, he found that left-handers can be considerably more intellectually gifted.

“There were more left-handed people with IQs over 140 than right-handed people – which is the ‘genius’ bracket. This is perhaps why there are more ‘lefties’ in creative professions – such as music, art and writing – and more left-handed astronauts and leaders than would be expected.”

More – on an absolute basis – lefties than wrongies with high IQs. Interesting. Let’s presume “more” is 6 out of 10. I found this reference to IQ frequency: 1% are 135 or over. “135” is close enough to “140.”

Assume a general population of 1,000 people: 100 are left; 900 are wrong; 10 are “genius.” (You following me? Able to keep up? Maybe there’s a left-hander around that could help you.)

If 60% of the 10 are left, that is 6 geniuses in the left-handed population; the wrong group is the remaining 4. (Still with me?)

6 out of 100 base left population are geniuses, or 6%. 4 out of the 900 base wrong population are geniuses, or 0.4%. So, we are 13.5X more likely to be … well, I hope even you can figure out the end to that sentence.

Kinda explains the crack about there being a “fine line” between genius and insanity, eh? I got no problem with that. Let me know if I need to explain to you. Who you labeling with that word “insanity”?

Some interesting people that were correct-handed: Napoleon, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc, Aristotle, Nietzsche, Ramses II, Queen Victoria, Helen Keller, Thomas Jefferson, Winston Churchill, Euell Gibbons (the “many parts of the pine tree are edible” guy who died of a heart attack at age 64; guess there’s more cholesterol in trees than is generally reported), and me. Another list: Billy the Kid, John Dillinger, the Boston Strangler, and Jack the Ripper. My homies. Bad-ass boys just acting out. I bet if there were more thoughtful household-product designers through history, these guys would not have been angry. Think about it. All Jack ever wanted was to do was to pick up a surgical instrument that cut from right to left. Simple. But, noooo! Just can’t design it that way, can we? You people think we have forges to create our own stuff! You make me sick. I would just as soon ta … MEDIC!

Mmmm. Much better. I’ve never tripled up on my meds before. This could get interesting.

Did you see that? It was purple. Had yellow spots. It looked right at me and smiled. Does it know something? Why would it smile at me? Wait a sec … what? What did you say? No, I am not hungry right now, but thank you. Alright, I will. I guess a banana sounds good. Would you like one? Here you go. Oh, let me open it for you. I am sorry that I didn’t see your lack of arms. Yes, it is good. I am so glad you sugges …. Zzzz zzzz zzzz …

{Sniff}, {cough}, {hick-up}, {burp} Oh, hey, I’m back. Must have dozed off for a second. Where was I?

Remember the 10% of the general pop that is left-handed? It seems that 25% of the general pop that s-s-s-st-stut-ters is l-l-left h-ha-handed. I am included in that group. I used to stutter involuntarily a lot. I thought it began when I was five years old and got run over by a bus in Scranton – well, not run over, the clown hit me and I flew some distance. It was 1964 or 1965. He carried my unconscious body into my house, gave me to the biological fount, and left – “Sure am sorry, ma’am. Hope your boy is ok.” “B-b-b-bye, M-m-mr. B-b-b-bus D-dr-driver. T-t-th-thanks f-f-f-for h-h-it-ting m-m-me.” I use stuttering purposefully now when I speak in front of crowds; it tends to interrupt people’s wanderings – they refocus on me. I still stutter involuntarily, but only when my emotions are crushed and my lifeless heart is left for dead.

I shouldn’t overlook the basic stuff: a left-handed person has the right hemisphere of their brain control their intellectual processes; a wrong-handed person has the left hemisphere dominate.

The left hemisphere (yous guys) has a unique functional profile. Sequential Analysis: systematic, logical interpretation of information. Interpretation and production of symbolic information: language, mathematics, abstraction and reasoning. Memory stored in a language format.

The right hemisphere (us) has its functional profile. Holistic Functioning: processing multi-sensory input simultaneously to provide "holistic" picture of one's environment. Visual spatial skills. Holistic functions such as dancing and gymnastics are coordinated by the right hemisphere. Memory is stored in auditory, visual and spatial modalities.

So I see the world in intellectual 3D. Must suck to be you.

I’m gonna sit back and construct a model in my head to minimize line loss in the transport of electricity to remote areas – I am curious whether utilizing thermal protections naturally occurring three to six feet underground will have a statistically significant impact vis-à-vis running conveyance media above ground. I would think that increased installation costs would be offset by decreased maintenance. What's the breakeven for loss recapture to make this worthwhile? I've always thought that low-voltage thermal tape can be a net gain - what if you moderated the temperature inside the encasement to even 40 degrees F? You could balance depth (and initial cost) of installation with low-voltage thermal supplementation. I think roadways should be contructed with the same ability to heat above freezing - easy enough to make the flows sufficiently redundant to handle frost heave and other movement. Think of the saved costs in property and humans from removing the variable of ice from roadways. Let me think of this some more - why don’t you lean forward, pick up the remote with your right hand, and watch some TV?

muzzled

Yeah, o'er it froze. No comment. Next.

I'm thinking visuals are a good way to post given my present state of mind. You see, when I write I know that I cannot disrespect the words so much as to force them into nice, safe, tidy little containers. I let them breathe, I watch as they fly - then I describe what I see.

Thoughts come to me, like - who is googling me locally that uses Verizon as their ISP, then out-clicking to my daughter's site? Have I become a site of prurient interest for them? I notice that they bookmarked my blog. And it is several folks, not just one, like a party line of gossips. They read and im each other, methinks.

"Can you believe he wrote that? Did you read the bit about the grandfather teaching his granddaughter to masturbate"?

"Yes, I did! I was appalled! And the one about the crack dealer! Like it was a good thing!"

"And that Christmas Story with the inflatable Santa developing a crack habit, poor thing."

"But you know, I almost bought one of those Lil Reminders. You remember the commercial where the woman gets lost in the parking lot? Happens all the time to me! Well, his post on it was very informative."

"I know! And his three posts on that scam caller id 864-223-1911 have been referred to the FCC to put a stop to that menace! He's really been helpful!"

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"gtt"

"k cya"

"hey!"

"?"

"^urs"

"lmao"

"lbug"

"oh yeah? FO"

"FU2"

"gud"

"gyhooya"

"wtf?"

"rufkm? rtfm!"

"smb"

"yeah, sh"

"rumcymhmd"

"qyb"

"otp"

"ooi"

"h&k"

"lol"

"b"

"b"

See the trouble I get in? (In case you need a cheat sheet!) Onward to visuals ...

Speaking of Darwinism in action, here is what happens when you don't eat"



Sometimes folks just don't think when they work - or is this what they mean by "pride in the union label"?



I've had this newspaper clipping for a while. Do you think the California Wine Grapes guy has a basis for demanding a refund?



I've been jonesing for a beer lately like you wouldn't believe. Don't remember the last one I had. I can relate to this guy:



Why do men need beer?


Did you know the annual budget of the National Weather Service is almost $900 million? Here is everything they need:



Yeah, reality creeping in. More words. Better git ...

Evolution & Intelligent Design

Evolution theory works something like this: there was, you see, this big BANG!, then like, WHOMPF! all this stuff was just screaming outward at incredible rates of speed and then somehow or another some of it started spinning really, really fast (instead of continuing outward as a result of the original propulsion, some of it started to circle back!) and that spinning stuff caught on fire, well, nuclear fusion kinda sorta that starts at the core of this spinning thing where the pressure is so great that hydrogen is like smashed into helium-4 (the loss of mass creates energy – ever hear of the theory of relativity, duh?!?) and then the energy becomes a photon and starts moving outward and does this photon-gas-photon-gas thingey to like 10 to the 25th times and finally it reaches the surface (like 100,000 to 200,000 years after the hydrogen pressure thingey) and then there’s this convection of hot and cooler gas – anyway, light and heat is spit outward and while all this is happening other stuff started to spin around those firey things and on one of them a cell emerged – quite by random chance, mind you, well maybe the saline solution helped but that just kinda appeared, too – and that cell split into two pieces and then, and then it evolved (!) to optimize its in situ experience and then, and then eventually it evolved into us (and monkeys, too!): each cell in our body contains a copy of our DNA; each dual strand of DNA in each of our cells is made up of 3,000,000,000 (three billion) molecules; each human body contains 100,000,000,000,000 (one hundred trillion) cells. One hundred trillion multiplied by three billion (btw, 300 sextillion; unless you are in Europe where it is called 300 trilliard because what the Brits call a sextillion we call an undecillion; confusing, I know – let’s be clear, we’re talking 10 to the 21st, not 10 to the 36th; if it were a hard disk, it would be 300 zettabytes – ok, I’ll stop) and with all that evoluting goin’ on there is only one form of humanoid on our planet – go figure – what a glorious random chance event we are!!!

oh, btw, that stuff preceding the BANG!, the stuff in the first instance, was sumptin' outta nuttin'.

And you people think I'm the one going on faith?